May 23, 2008

Melissa X

Do you wanna revolution? Whoop - whoop.
I said, do you wanna revolution? Whoop - whoop.

How'd you like that? That's a really really white girl, blogging like a soul sista'.

Yes, it's awkward at first, but I think it's works.

Okay, I have a reason for all of this.

There is a reason my post is titled Melissa X. And it's this...I have started a movement. A revolution, if you will. I know, I know...you probably think I'm layin' it on a little thick. But I never do that. Never, ever, ever. I never over exaggerate. Not ever. I've never over exaggerated yet and I'm not about to start now. So you can believe me. If I say it - it's truth. Seriously.

About two weeks ago I began my movement and today I am starting to see the fruit of my labor. Because as we speak grocery stores across our country are being asked to stock their shelves with Julio's Chips. Several of you have emailed me and told me that you tried to contact Mr. Julio's via his website. And I'm sorry that you've had trouble. But here's the deal...

I'm pretty sure Mr. Julio just works in his kitchen with his wife and like, four kids, frying up chips night and day. At least that's how I see it in my mind. (But then I also see him as a small, heavy set man in his mid-60's with a penchant for fedoras and a constant smell of boiled chicken that follows him around. You?)

So guess what?? The ATTORNEY GENERAL is going to call him. I am not lying. Leave it to the ATTORNEY GENERAL to make things happen. Why do you think I call him that? It's not because he's the Attorney General of Tennessee (though some of you have actually emailed me to ask me that. And don't think he didn't loooooove that.) It's because,
A. He's an attorney.
B. He's bossy. And mean. And all about rules and regulations. And making me do things I don't want to do because I'm lazy and forgetful and undisciplined.

Oh, and it's because he makes things happen. I don't lie. Give the man a job. It will be done by noon. As long as it's not outside. Or with his hands. Or with a hammer. Or with any kind of electric equipment. Or tractor/trailer combination.

So, to those of you who have contacted your local grocer and had Julio's sent it - BRAVO!! In fact, here is an email I received from one reader who heard Julio's were going to be delivered to his grocery store today...

"Let me just say that Julio's chips with guacamole and "non-alcoholic" sangria are nothing short of spectacular. 'They're real.....and they're spectacular!'

I got to Brookshire's Fresh Market, 5 o'clock rush. I'm dodging down the chip aisle looking for Julio. Can't see Julio. Lays, no. Doritos, no. Zapps, no. There was an empty space on the bottom rack with one back of yellow chips....What's that one? Wait a minute......Julio? Is that you? Yes, there it was, the last bad. I grabbed it and slowly looked around trying to see if anyone else seemed interested...I tried to nonchalantly place the bag in the buggy, resisting the urge to tear it open. I'm in control, I can wait.

Zipped through the market, don't know why they think it's so fresh? Avocados, Senorial Sangria (oh yeah), tostadas, lettuce, tomatoes, etc, etc.

Now I'm home. Can I resist the urge? Do I try them now? or wait until everyone else is ready for supper. Well the bag is pretty small. Do they come any larger? I slowly tear open the yellow bag with the precious name on it. I place the chip to my mouth and crunch expectantly. What are those remarkable flavors? Crunchy, tasty. I can hang with that.

Next comes the avocados. Crush them up, blend in the spices. How will they taste with guacamole? LIKE HEAVEN! THAT'S WHAT! Throw in some sangria and you have the makings of a fine night.

Oh well, I'm sure you've heard countless stories which can compare with mine. I'm just glad I found Julio in time. When was I going to start that diet? I can't remember now...."

This young man (I'm being kind) went to his grocery store - shout out! to Brookshire Brothers at Gaslight Plaza - because someone else had asked Mr. Berger, the store manager, to special order them. Which he did. And they were delivered.

So maybe Mr. Berger is starting the revolution.

Hmmmm....let me think on that.

Nope. Still me.

Anyway, my faithful lovelies, I will keep you informed on what Mr. Julio says, but in the mean time, ask your grocer for them. Oh give me a break, you'll go up and ask for Pizza bagels shaped like Dora the Explorer, but you won't ask for this?

On another note. Yesterday was Remi's birthday and we celebrated in style. Pancakes from Cracker Barrell...one looooooong hour at the bouncy house (it was her birthday, people. I HAD to. Plus the AG forced me at gun point).....yellow cheese dip for lunch.....and one big ol' Timmy the Turtle swimming pool for daddy's little princess. How she does it, I'll never know.

The AG loved the bouncy house so much that he actually looked at me as he was bouncing like an idiot and asked, "So how much would it cost if we - just me and you - wanted to come in and rent this place for a couple hours?"

What?

What is he talking about? Has he never met me? In the fourteen years we've been married I have ruled out tennis, racquetball, church softball teams, gym memberships or walking of any kind. Jumping should be a given.

I hope you all have a lovely weekend. I'll miss you. But I have been "tagged" - I'm still very unsure what that means, but I'm taking some penicillin just to be safe - and I'll be posting that this weekend. Just so you know.

What are ya'll doing this weekend? Leave me a comment and tell me. I'm curious, because the AG has a buddy in town so I'm kind stuck here doing my own thang. So I really want to know what I have to be envious of.

In the mean time, go see Indiana Jones and eat some popcorn (with the buttered layered. As God intended it to be served.)

15 comments:

Lula! said...

Hooray, Melissa X! We'll have some Julio's before we know it. I claim in in Jesus' name!

My husband's gonna kill me for speaking Jesus over some chips, but you know what I fully believe? If it's important to us it's important to HIM! Amen.

We're gonna TRY to see Indiana Jones...fixin' to buy tickets now, before they're sold out. Woot-woot! You and Remi have the day to get up here (or over--I think I'm over from you) and go with us.

Sissy said...

My husband and I are making a double feature of Indiana Jones and Iron Man. I know you are jealous. Indy for him and juicy, muscled-up Robert Downey for me.

And yes, I am forgoing the diet for that popcorn and a steak quesadilla from Qdoba.

Then we are having a BBQ on Monday with some friends from church. You're welcome to drive on over to NC, but with gas prices so high...

Kelley said...

I do know that curiosity killed the cat but, just the same, I have GOT to find me some Julio's. You really have started something down here in the South. Yes...it's a revolution.

Happy Birthday to Remi, by the way, and do you really think that the AG wanted to actually jump? Hmmm...just wondering.

Lastly, for the weekend, we have rented a pontoon boat and are going to cruise the lake, eat chips (not Julios) and just be.

Heather said...

I really MUST try these elusive chips. I will now have to scour the metro-area to see if any of the grocery stores have them because I am so intrigued. You know that if they don't make my eyes roll back into my head, I'll have to give you a really hard time. I'm thinking you do know and you're so confident in your love for Mr. Julio and his chips that you're not worried in the least.

I think PB and I are also going to go see Indiana Jones (in support of my boyfriend, Shia) and I, too, will be having popcorn. I don't share well which means I'll insist on my own tub and my own m&m's and my own coke. People can say what they want about me, but they can never say I am a cheap date.

And I am SO glad you've been tagged because I was so guilt-ridden that I hadn't been the one to tag you. I was contemplating buying back your love with a bag of chips. I may still have to do that because you absolutely MUST know that you are hands down one of my FAVORITE bloggers and I check your posts every day...sometimes multiple times a day.

Todd Wright said...

David's gotta get a blog so he can defend himself.

But you know...if you're gonna' start a movement, it doesn't hurt to be sleeping with a lawyer.

Just saying...

Anonymous said...

Oh My Sista`... I had to play catch up today on your blog. I have been so busy running TSC... GOOD LAW! So I had to start with your "Lion passion" (made me cry) and end with today.(YES I'm gonna buy the dang chips) But remember, the other night in the car (yes ya'll I am a personal friend of Mel X) and I told you that I was dying over one of your post.. well it was the "Bouncy Thing". Girl I have to say I WAS PROUD!!! Being a member of the "junk in the trunk" society, I have never had enough hutzpah to do the bouncy thing!!! Girl you are my hero...yep All Hail Mel X !!! Better than Mel B from the spice Girls!
Catch you next week... the fam and Liv's dude Covey are going to my folks place on the lake to veg!

Love you!
Kimberly J

Mindy said...

I am a chip girl. Much like you described AG in a few posts back so I am dying to try these. I hope they are in our area SOON!!

BTW- your last post touched me. I wanted you to know that I think both mothers -- The tired one and the one with hoop earrings -- are beautiful. I see beauty in the decisions both mothers made. Thank You for sharing the beauty of that day with us.

CEU said...

She got a turtle?!?! I didn't think the AG would cave, but then - look at her face. Of course she's getting a Timmy the Turtle! There's a turtle sandbox too, ya know.

Mrs. Romero said...

Again, you have me laughing so hard I peed...just a little, but still.

Julio needs to give you free chips for life.

I will find them it it kills, I must have them. With guacamole.

LaQuintamomof3 said...

I have to find these chips... sound good to be true.
I want to take the whole family to see Indiana Jones... short of that I have a date night with TDH (hubby). Can't wait! Having some drinks with the gals for a bithday first then... yummy dinner at a nice restaurant, sans kids!
Wooo Hooo
Thanks for making me laugh!

Scott said...

Mel X:

Thanks for being kind.

Lisa said...

Well I am now convinced more than ever that the creative gene in the family is only blood given. Sorry AG but I'm right there with ya. And as far as the chips goes I only have one thing to say.. God Bless Senor Julio for making somethng so good for us to enjoy here on earth!! Amen and Amen. :)

Evi said...

I'm still waiting on the description of the chips...I NEED to know. I am up hear in Canada so I am not sure the powers of the almighty AG reach this far...so a description might get me inspired to research their existence up here in the north country.
Pretty Please.
Are they light and crispy, with just a zing of salt?

Anonymous said...

Evi,

They are to die for...They are in a yellow bag and they are called JULIO's corn tortilla chips. They are lightly seasoned corn tortilla chips that have a mild salty,zesty seasoning. You just have to try them. They are pretty darn good.
U will love them.

Michelle

Evi said...

Thanks Michelle
I just wish i could get them up here...not sure I can.