Melissa X

Do you wanna revolution? Whoop - whoop.

I said, do you wanna revolution? Whoop - whoop.

How'd you like that? That's a really really white girl, blogging like a soul sista'.

Yes, it's awkward at first, but I think it's works.

Okay, I have a reason for all of this.

There is a reason my post is titled Melissa X. And it's this...I have started a movement. A revolution, if you will. I know, I know...you probably think I'm layin' it on a little thick. But I never do that. Never, ever, ever. I never over exaggerate. Not ever. I've never over exaggerated yet and I'm not about to start now. So you can believe me. If I say it - it's truth. Seriously.

About two weeks ago I began my movement and today I am starting to see the fruit of my labor. Because as we speak grocery stores across our country are being asked to stock their shelves with Julio's Chips. Several of you have emailed me and told me that you tried to contact Mr. Julio's via his website. And I'm sorry that you've had trouble. But here's the deal...

I'm pretty sure Mr. Julio just works in his kitchen with his wife and like, four kids, frying up chips night and day. At least that's how I see it in my mind. (But then I also see him as a small, heavy set man in his mid-60's with a penchant for fedoras and a constant smell of boiled chicken that follows him around. You?)

So guess what?? The ATTORNEY GENERAL is going to call him. I am not lying. Leave it to the ATTORNEY GENERAL to make things happen. Why do you think I call him that? It's not because he's the Attorney General of Tennessee (though some of you have actually emailed me to ask me that. And don't think he didn't loooooove that.) It's because,
A. He's an attorney.
B. He's bossy. And mean. And all about rules and regulations. And making me do things I don't want to do because I'm lazy and forgetful and undisciplined.

Oh, and it's because he makes things happen. I don't lie. Give the man a job. It will be done by noon. As long as it's not outside. Or with his hands. Or with a hammer. Or with any kind of electric equipment. Or tractor/trailer combination.

So, to those of you who have contacted your local grocer and had Julio's sent it - BRAVO!! In fact, here is an email I received from one reader who heard Julio's were going to be delivered to his grocery store today...

"Let me just say that Julio's chips with guacamole and "non-alcoholic" sangria are nothing short of spectacular. 'They're real.....and they're spectacular!'

I got to Brookshire's Fresh Market, 5 o'clock rush. I'm dodging down the chip aisle looking for Julio. Can't see Julio. Lays, no. Doritos, no. Zapps, no. There was an empty space on the bottom rack with one back of yellow chips....What's that one? Wait a minute......Julio? Is that you? Yes, there it was, the last bad. I grabbed it and slowly looked around trying to see if anyone else seemed interested...I tried to nonchalantly place the bag in the buggy, resisting the urge to tear it open. I'm in control, I can wait.

Zipped through the market, don't know why they think it's so fresh? Avocados, Senorial Sangria (oh yeah), tostadas, lettuce, tomatoes, etc, etc.

Now I'm home. Can I resist the urge? Do I try them now? or wait until everyone else is ready for supper. Well the bag is pretty small. Do they come any larger? I slowly tear open the yellow bag with the precious name on it. I place the chip to my mouth and crunch expectantly. What are those remarkable flavors? Crunchy, tasty. I can hang with that.

Next comes the avocados. Crush them up, blend in the spices. How will they taste with guacamole? LIKE HEAVEN! THAT'S WHAT! Throw in some sangria and you have the makings of a fine night.

Oh well, I'm sure you've heard countless stories which can compare with mine. I'm just glad I found Julio in time. When was I going to start that diet? I can't remember now...."

This young man (I'm being kind) went to his grocery store - shout out! to Brookshire Brothers at Gaslight Plaza - because someone else had asked Mr. Berger, the store manager, to special order them. Which he did. And they were delivered.

So maybe Mr. Berger is starting the revolution.

Hmmmm....let me think on that.

Nope. Still me.

Anyway, my faithful lovelies, I will keep you informed on what Mr. Julio says, but in the mean time, ask your grocer for them. Oh give me a break, you'll go up and ask for Pizza bagels shaped like Dora the Explorer, but you won't ask for this?

On another note. Yesterday was Remi's birthday and we celebrated in style. Pancakes from Cracker Barrell...one looooooong hour at the bouncy house (it was her birthday, people. I HAD to. Plus the AG forced me at gun point).....yellow cheese dip for lunch.....and one big ol' Timmy the Turtle swimming pool for daddy's little princess. How she does it, I'll never know.

The AG loved the bouncy house so much that he actually looked at me as he was bouncing like an idiot and asked, "So how much would it cost if we - just me and you - wanted to come in and rent this place for a couple hours?"

What?

What is he talking about? Has he never met me? In the fourteen years we've been married I have ruled out tennis, racquetball, church softball teams, gym memberships or walking of any kind. Jumping should be a given.

I hope you all have a lovely weekend. I'll miss you. But I have been "tagged" - I'm still very unsure what that means, but I'm taking some penicillin just to be safe - and I'll be posting that this weekend. Just so you know.

What are ya'll doing this weekend? Leave me a comment and tell me. I'm curious, because the AG has a buddy in town so I'm kind stuck here doing my own thang. So I really want to know what I have to be envious of.

In the mean time, go see Indiana Jones and eat some popcorn (with the buttered layered. As God intended it to be served.)