May 14, 2008

Get Nice.

I'm getting Julio's Chips delivered to my door. Can you believe it? There is a God and He knows my address.

And there's a good chance He goes by Julio sometime...I'm just sayin'.

But yes, I received word today that a reader and lover of all things Stretch Marks had read about my plight and was happy to help. I should be receiving them in a few short days all wrapped up in a FedEx box and covered with those annoying little Styrofoam peanuts, that I'm not even gonna gripe about, because it will keep them safe. Just like a precious newborn or a tender reed. That's how I feel about my Julio's.

Seriously ya'll, I just don't know what to do with myself. Isn't that NICE of her?

And when I told the Attorney General I was receiving them he immediately blew out my bubble by telling me that they would be complete dust by the time they got here. But because I see the jar as half full instead of empty like most attorneys and say, funeral directors, I simply told him that if that happened to be the case I would just thaw out some chicken "and roll my chicken breasts in them."

Which I have to say made for an amusing moment. But I digress.

But still - I came up with a solution for even Julio's dust. Which makes me ingenious and very close to Paula Deen. And isn't that NICE?

I also want to thank all of you who sent me emails and left comments that you love the Stretch Marks blog and wanted to be added to my blogroll. Some of you were so opposed to others of you...and I will be happy to add opposed to others of you. Oh, I kid. All of you were so NICE.

And I promise to add each of you as soon as I have one second to myself without a little helper. Wait, as soon as I have one second to myself without a little helper I am going to use the big girl potty. But I will do right after that. Promise.

And now speaking of NICE...

I am a perfecter of segues. Am I not?

Remi Hope has learned a plethora of words. A plethora. That's "a whole bunch" in Mexican. And I love to hear her try them out.

She's learned to tell me "you go" when she wants to play by herself.

She's also learned to say "Hi, Kelli" to every friend that calls me - whether it's Kelli or not - which makes Kelli extremely happy and not at all obnoxious.

She's learned the dogs name next door and so I'll hear "Hi Cody" occasionally. Once I even heard, "Gross Cody." Don't know. Don't wanna know.

She received a package from her Grandma and actually asked me "what is 'at momma?" which makes her sound so grown up and kind of makes me sad.

But what I really love to hear is her playing with her blocks. Apparently someone else is playing with her. I'm not sure who they are. But she sees them - and that's all that matters. (Unless that's a sign of something disturbing, in which case don't tell me.) But I watched her sit in the hallway and play blocks until the sun went down - all the while playing with her "friend." Now at this point I'm not sure what he/she did but it must have really upset her, because I watched as she took block after block, held it up and said, "No! No! You no play." Finally adding, "And GET NICE!"

Which he/she must have quickly obeyed because they continued to play quite well together until we had to head out to church where her teachers told me she beat up a little boy...again.

Apparently "GET NICE" only applies to those you can't see.

Though I know some in my life I'd like to use it on...can I get a "what-what?"


Debbie said...

Hi Melissa, I came over from Heather at Mindless Junque. I'm supposed to be cleaning and recovering from my bloggers block. Did I mention that I really should be's Thursday and that's what I do on Thursday...but instead, I did the dreaded one click...and here I am...reading your funny funny stuff...not wanting to go clean the toilets. BUT, I do need to go clean, but I will be back. It will be my reward. ;)

Debbie said...

Oh and I have the windex in my hand as I type this...but I wanted to tell you that "A Thousand Splendid Suns" is one of my favorite sad as it is excellent. Oh and I love Beth Moore...

Heather said...

So much warm, delicious, bloggy goodness here, sis. I guess I need to go try Julio's chips. Paula Deen is my favorite and I hope to have her adopt me one day. I think rolling your breasts in your chips is very Paula-ish. Plethora is a very good word and I use it at every possible opportunity. It sounds like Remi Hope is quite a chatterbox!! And don't think for a minute I'm not loving that she beats up boys. Mr. Attorney General must be very proud!

Ruby said...

I second everything Heather said!

OMG, laughing my boot-ay off over here!

Anonymous said...

Well, it's "obnoxious Aunt Kelli" chiming in for once and yes, I am PROUD, PROUD, PROUD! I love you too my little "Remster"!

And...though I don't usually get around to commenting, I am very much a fan.I tell everyone it's better than renting a comedy (and cheaper too) up a week's worth of blogs (if you can), pop yourself up some popcorn (or grab some of those Julio thingies), sit, get comfortable and laugh yourself silly!

Keep 'em comin', Mel. You know I hate to be disappointed! :)

Tiffany said...

Get Nice. That is so great...I am seeing a bumper sticker empire in Remi's future!