Mar 24, 2008

I actually bought Turkey a can. Help me.

Okay people, this is serious.
Ya wanna hear something really sad and pathetic?
So I go head to the grocery store today to buy groceries. Cuz it's Monday. And that's what I do.
My plan was to make a menu for the week, go and buy the necessary ingredients and then NOT ask to eat out one time over the next five days. (We'll see.)

I noticed that when I asked the AG what he would like to eat this week he said to me, "Chicken and Rice is fine. Or chili. Or spaghetti."

Can you believe that??

Oh. Have I not told you why this is a big problem?

Because those are the only three things I make. That's it.
Chicken and Rice.
(Except for my all-time favorite dinner...chili cheese dogs. Go ahead, let it out.)

Sometimes I add a little zest to our lives by throwing in some chicken-n-dumplings or stir-fry. But that's if I'm feeling especially frisky.

So today, at 5:05PM I found myself walking down the aisle of the SuperTarget looking at the backs of cans. I was looking at the CANS, people! I was looking for the Rotel to give me some ideas. The Cream of Chicken soup. The back of the Lipton Onion Soup box.

This is embarrassing.

How did this happen?? I came from a mother who was like McGuyver in the kitchen. Give her a bag of tortilla chips, 2 slices of cheese, one drumstick, some pimentos and 30 minutes and she could have you sitting down to a feast.

What happened to me? The truth is, I'm a good cook. I really am. You give me a recipe and I can cook the fire out of it. In fact, one of my husbands friends (who shall remain nameless, because his wife doesn't know this) once asked me to cook for him should anything happen to his wife. (But between you and me, she weighs like 90 pounds soaking wet so I'm guessing he doesn't have a lot of things that we enjoy 'round here.)

My problem is that I have completely run out of ideas. Sure I can fry chicken. I have a cast iron skillet the size of my head. (And have you seen the size of my head?) But who can fry chicken every night of the week? I'm not Paula, ya'll.

So if you have any ideas for me, send them on. I did a recipe exchange once and 25 people sent me back Lasagna. And just so you know...I'd rather eat my fist than eat Lasagna.

So what are your "tried and true" recipes? That little treasure that you make for your family once every couple of weeks or so? I want it! Send it on!

And here's the deal. Each recipe will be tested. Seriously. By me and the Attorney General.
And whichever one we decide we want to add to our bi-weekly rotation gets a little somethin' somethin'. So email me so that I have your email address ( or leave a comment where I can reach you, whichever. But I got a prize here with your name on it. And it's not one of those stupid prizes. Like a keychain or a suncatcher.
It's real.
I do things right.
I'm from the South.

And you don't have to pay for shipping.
The AG will.
His stomach is rumbling just thinking about it.


Anonymous said...


I am right there with ya. Pass on some new recipes if you get any. Wes and Gracie would be so appreciative. HA!HA!


Linda said...

I do not cook, either. It's pathetic. I'm enjoying read all of your posts here! You have a great sense of humor; that is irresistible to me.