Feb 1, 2008

Dead Man Coughin'

Well, The Attorney General has the flu. And yet I'm the one you need to pray for. Anyone know what it's like when The Attorney General is sick? Well, let's put it this way. I don't call him the Attorney General for nothin'. Okay?

When he coughs he throws his whole body into it. Like he's trying to hurl something across a football field. I get exhausted just watching him.

When he sneezes he convulses forward like he's just slammed on the brakes. It gives me a headache.

When it's time to take his medicine I put it in his hand and he just lays there, for hours, just staring at it. He says it's because his throat hurts so bad and he doesn't want to take it. I'm running out of time and patien....

When he takes a bath he has me come and and turn the ceiling fan on. Then off. Then on. Then off. The on again. My feet hurt.

He prefers orange juice. But it scratches his throat. So water. Maybe Sprite. "Do we have anything hot?" Orange juice again. Now water to "flush his system out"...i love it when he talks like that.

Anyway, can you all see how this is affecting me? Sure I'm not the one with 103 temp. but I have feelings too. Now add to that a one year old who doesn't understnad why she can't run and jump in dad's lap - or kiss all over dad. This is really starting to get me down. And now we have to cancel our SuperBowl plans???
"Please David. Please try to get well. We're having a Mexican pile-up."

"Melissa..."
"What? You don't ever want to do anything with me any more."

Maybe I'm being selfish. I call it honest.

Truth is, (and please don't let this get out) I adore the man. I mean it, I complain and gripe. I huff and puff. I pout. A lot. But I adore my own personal Attorney General. He's the absolute best man I've ever met in my life. And I've known a lot of men (oh wait, that's not me. That's Mae West.) So I spoil him. I made him his favorite homemade creamy chicken noodle soup. (Yep, creamy chicken noodle. Becuase in our house nothing is complete without 2 cups of half and half.) I got him some movies. Refresh his kleenex and draw his bath. And to be honest, it's still not half as much as what he does for me. What can I say? After 14 years, I'm still in love.

Now, back to complaining. I have to go to Wal-greens and pick up his prescription becuase they said it was going to take and hour to fill and could he wait??? Noooooooo. Seriously, he has a fever and sore throat. So what? Nothing a little hour of cruising around Wal-greens buying "As Seen on TV" stuff won't help. Hmph!

2 comments:

April said...

Girl!

I feel your pain. I got my own patient I am taking care of. HA!HA!

stephanie davis said...

ok... you are my new daily read!! and thats great because i don't read ever!!!!! girl, you are a breath of fresh air and i really laugh out loud!!!!!!!!! you need to publish your memoirs seriously!!! i miss you and hope to see you soon, gotta take that baby's picture!!!!!!!!!!
love, steph