Jan 3, 2008

Dippers, Stickers and Pickers

So I took Remi to McDonald's yesterday. I know, I know, a minivan cannot be far behind because this was an outing that I swore I would never do.

I certainly didn't want to go by myself so I called one of "the girls" but she couldn't get away - so I braved it alone. Don't really want to do that again. It felt like high school, as I sat all alone but all the rest of the mothers sat with their friends. Well, there was this one young mother who walked in with her two kids and she sat alone as well, but I didn't speak to her. I started to but I couldn't' think of anything to say. Maybe I should have done some female small talk, "who does your hair" or "where'd you get those shoes" but I don't do small talk and neither her shoes nor her hair needed to be brought up.

Here's a good thing to come out of McDonald's. Remi ate all her food. Why does that always happen? We'll make her the best grilled burger money can buy she won't touch it, I buy her one for 97 cents and she eats like a fiend. I got her apple dippers and she ate almost all of them. I bring the rest home - won't lay a finger on them. What happens on that piece of land that makes children act like that? My reasoning behind everything I cannot explain? "It must be built on a pet cemetery." So that's what I'm going with. The McDonald's in Spring Hill must be built on a pet cemetery. Let's get that rumor started, shall we?

Then there is the .........drum roll, please.........the PLAY AREA. Dear Lord in heaven, what goes on in there? I mean, I plainly saw kids with humongous boogers go into the slide but come out of the slide with perfectly clean noses. I saw one little boy go in to the play area fully dressed and come out without a shirt on. Then I saw one little girl head down the slide with a perfectly clean face and come out the other side with a booger on it (see previous story) and that's when I said, "Alrighty, we're outta here." Of course packing up is not as easy as you'd think. I walked in with one diaper bag and walked out with one diaper bag, 3 sheets of stickers from a little girl named Macy, half a bag of dippers and a straberry shortcake figurine that does something special, I think.

But here's the downside to going to McDonald's with your friends...you don't watch your kids. That was the problem the Remster and I ran into yesterday. So here's a shout out to one lady from the two of us:
Hey Lady,
you who sat with your back turned the whole time and never once looked at the play area. You who came in on your cell phone and didn't notice your boy running 95 miles an hour into several toddlers. You who giggled tirelessly while your little tank ran amok! Well, I just wanted to say...that was my little girl your jughead hit over the head. And that was my little girl who he pushed out of the way to play in the "3 and under" area. That was my little girl who came between him and his friend when they started a wrestling match. Therefore, it was my little girl who picked up one of his tennis shoes and proudly placed it in the underneath carrier of a stroller passing by at just the right moment. That mom and dad never knew they were leaving with your boys shoe and goodness knows you didn't. But I did. And I was one proud momma at that moment. So lady, here's hoping that when you go to Chik-fil-A this weekend, after what I guess will be an fun day of tennis shoe shopping with a nine year old, you watch your little one when he plays with others. And that you pick yourself up a new windsuit. I think I saw a booger on yours.


Kristen said...

Hey! I just trashed one of those Strawberry Shortcake figurines yesterday. Turns out the special thing ours did was to lay on the bathroom floor for a solid week.

Heather said...

Hey, just be glad the "no smoking" law went into effect. People used to toke it up right next to the play ground before then. I too have made the venture and vowed to not go again.

Have you ever had to climb to the top to rescue your stranded child? I have! I am still trying to get the slime composed of snot and french fry grease out of my jeans!

P.S. Way to go Remi!

Ashley said...

AH... YES! Such a glorious place. Those golden arches beckon children before they know how to talk. Maybe that is how the arches are golden... from all the boogers collected in the play area (insert GAG reflex).

At least the girl toys are cute and fun... they boy toys are really not ever recognizable.

Brittney said...

The Golden Arches mean different things to different people. To the corporate office it's "M" for McDonald's. To parents, it's "M" for misery. But to kids, it's "M" for MAGIC! Yes, McDonald's is a "magical" place to children. That's why Remi eats all her food there, it's not built on a pet cemetary...it's magic. And I also know why she'll eat the food there, but won't eat the leftovers at home. It's just like the baseball field in the movie "Field of Dreams", the minute you step off the magic is gone. The magic only works on the field. And so it is with Mickey D's. Once you leave, the magic is gone, and the leftover apple dippers are no longer worth eating, b/c once you leave the premesis of those magical golden arches, apples are no longer a delightful treat...they are simply... "good for you"...YUCK!