Nov 28, 2010

Whole Lotta Smokin' Goin' On.

The first "grill" that the AG and I ever had was a hibachi grill. My Pawpaw gave it to us because he had bought it for $60 in 1994 and had used the heck out of it, plus he was moving on to bigger and better pastures. So we took it. And you had thought we had never tasted grilled meat in our lives. We cooked everything on it. And considering it was a 18x12 - that was pretty remarkable. I think there were some nights when we had to decide between 2 hot dogs or 1 hot dog and 1/2 a chicken breast.

But then we, too, drove up on bigger, nicer, greener pastures.

Aaaah yes, the charcoal grill. Also known as the "How-do-pork-chops-sound-because-you-can-have-them-in-14 1/2-hours Grill." But we loved that thing. And we used it. And we would invite other young couples over for burgers at 6 and then we'd all sit down to eat at 11:30. It was awesome. And even though I was scared to light it and twice I walked around with out my eyebrows I was still thankful we had it. Until we saw this...

Did you hear those angels singing just now? They were singing because this is a gas grill. God's greatest gift to the busy parent. If I were to right a song about the gas grill it would go like this:

Gas grill

Gas grill

I adore

Because it takes 1 hour - NOT FOUR!

To grill my burger and cook my bird

I can't believe we ever used a Hibachi - MY WORD!

Gas grill

Gas grill

Never go away

Because you have an ignitor button on the side that I can operate.

(This is to be sung to Twinkle, Twinkle by the way.) And everything in our grilling world was going just fine. Until this...

What is that, you ask? Oh, I'll tell you what it is. Its a smoker. It cooks your meat. But where as with a Hibachi you had to decide between one wiener or two, with the smoker you have to decide between 15 pounds of beef or one 8 pound brisket, 4 whole chickens, two packages of sausage links, one package of pork chops and a pack of all beef hot dogs.

Where as with a charcoal grill you could sit outside with your friends and play cards for 12 hours, with the smoker you can sit outside with your friends but afterwards you will smell like you've been on Survivor. And lost.

With a gas grill I could start it. With a smoker I was too weak to even open the lid. Though the AG believes this has more to do with my lack of any and all upper body strength, but I think he's wrong.

So this Thanksgiving while others where making yams and cornbread dressing - we were making meat. Lots and lots of meat. I was waking up every two hours to my husbands alarm going off telling him to turn the meat. And I was waking up again to a man crawling in my bed who smelled like he had just rolled in from a Nascar tail-gating party.

And I spent Thanksgiving listening to joke after joke about my husbands meat. Because I have a very spiritual family and we're saintly like that.

And so I will admit, it was awesome, his 312 pounds of smoked beef brisket and links. It really was. And to be perfectly honest I'm not sure which I liked more - sneaking bites of brisket into the wee hours of the morning out of the fridge or sleeping with a heavy smoker. It was kind of like curling up next to Dean Martin. And that can't be all that bad, can it?


Hot Tub Lizzy said...

We are die-hard smokers - we use a Big Green Egg - not quite as big but still WONDERFUL!!!!! Best meat EVER!

Miss Jenn said...

So funny I made my husband read it! LOL

Miss Jenn said...

And he's still laughing out loud...& he wants your smoker!

Pamela said...

I was singing your song to the tune of "Jingle Bells", but that's probably because I've heard that the Batmobile lost its wheel and Joker got away ALL DAY LONG.

martha said...

Came by to get my inspiration and my chuckles. I see you haven't posted in a while. Please let us know that you all are ok, just busy. Concerned!

votemom said...

ditto what martha said. praying for you.

Kim L said...

Where are you?

Charloe said...

I agree with Kim L. Where are you Melissa? We miss you!