Oct 11, 2010

This Is What Happens When A Man Wants A Younger Model.

Wow, has it really been that long since I posted something?

You know it's been a long time when they ask for your username and password when you log on. Normally, it's like I'm on the VIP list at a hot club and Blogger just lets me right on through. Not this time. This time it asked who I was and what the password was, what my natural hair color was and how much I weighed. And well, that's when things got ugly.

So my post today is supposed to be about The Attorney General and what he did this weekend, but honestly, I don't know that I have the strength to post it. It wears me out just thinking about it. It is just so far out of my element; it would be the same as if I tried to post about a friend running the Boston Marathon or someone I love trying their hand at scrapbooking? What? Huh? Blacking out now. Exhausted.

And this is how I felt this weekend when my father called my husband and it went like this...

Dad: Hey man, my new TV came in.

AG: You got a new TV?

Dad: Yeah.

AG: Why? Did the other one break or something?

Dad: No. Its fine. The new one is just bigger. 13" bigger.

AG: Niiiiccce.

Let's stop here, shall we? Because at no point in my natural life can I see me having a phone conversation in which my mom calls to tell me she bought herself a new diamond ring, not because she LOST the one she had, but because she found one....and it was bigger. See, this is a conversation women are not allowed to have. But a bigger TV? Men are totttaaaallllly allowed to have this conversation.

Sexism at its finest.

Dad: So I was wondering if you wanted the one I'm taking down?

AG: The 52"? Yeah, I'll take it!

And here's where I get really tired and just want a foot massage. Because what followed that "meeting of the minds" phone conversation was the most exhausting part of my weekend. Which is really saying something because I kept 6 kids in my home all weekend and it looked like I was running a small orphanage.

Allow me to give you the play-by-play:

The AG took down my Dad's 52" to make room for his new 65" (yes, the AG put the 65" up for my Dad too).

The AG took down our 42" over our mantel to squeeeeeze in my dads 52".

The AG then proceeded to remove our perfectly fine 32" from our bedroom wall to replace it with....you guessed it....the 42" he just removed from our mantel.

And our kids who up to this point have had a 27" hanging in their room (bless their poor souls) now have our former 32".

Where will the 27" go? Uh, duh. Who reads magazines in the bathroom anymore?

Of course, I'm kidding. Unless the AG is reading this right now and a light bulb is going off in his head. Which who am I kidding? It is.

I would like to state for the record that if we didn't tithe to our local church, support our community, sponsor a child and give alms as Jesus commanded then this would be the most horrific post. Ever. But we do, so I am allowing some room for the Attorney General to just be a boy. And enjoy a TV the size of the space shuttle; which we will probably be watching as it takes off from Florida on its next journey into outer space. That is, if we happen to be in the bathroom at the time.


Anonymous said...

Does anyone know if there are building codes against having a TV hanging over the bathtub?

The AG

Melissa Lee said...

Dear moron, I love you.

Tabi said...

I was reading along just fine trying to keep my laughter from bubbling over because I am currently sitting at my university library and then...the AG posted his comment. People are staring at me. I blame you both.

Shelley said...

I LOVE Y'ALL. Just sayin'

Cari said...

My husband hung one in our bathroom not because he watches it but because he says and I quote..."It just looks cool!". Seriously? Men!

Laurel said...

We are currently setting up a new home and would you believe that we have had the TV in the bathroom discussion. If he gets that I get a full time masseuse!

Daiquiri said...


Givinya De Elba said...

This post had me saying, "Oooooooohhh!" right out loud here. And I never do that!

This story is frighteningly similar to when my husband got a hideously large TV last year. I was in a hellish pit of guilt about it, but after soul-searching and talking with friends, I settled on a thought process eerily similar to your final paragraph.

Needless to say, if it was up to me, we'd have a teensy TV tucked away somewhere. But boys will be boys and there will always be a bigger TV out there to waste money on. Sigh.

Bethany said...

It's such a guy thing..lol! Too funny...