Sep 27, 2010

I Need Just Enough Rope To Hang Myself.

Have you ever made a Bucket List? You know, that list of the top 25 things you want to do before you die. I've heard of people making them, but I myself have never made one. Until Saturday night. Saturday night I started my Bucket List, but because I'm creative and probably rank pretty high on the genius scale I'm doing mine a little differently.

I'm not making a list of things I want to do.

I'm making a list of things I don't want to do.

Bucket List:
1. Never do a ropes course. Ever. Again.

And this is the part where you're probably thinking, "Whoa, Melissa did a ropes course this weekend. Go Melissa!" Stop with all your go's and whoa's. I did no such thing. Granted I went to a ropes course. Granted I signed a waiver allowing me to participate at a ropes course. But I did not do a ropes course.

Whereas some women decided to take a more hands-on approach. I decided to take a more spectatortorial approach. (It's a word, look it up.)

I would like to go on record as saying there were many drawbacks to me doing a ropes course. Let's start at the top, shall we?
1. I get winded walking to my car.
2. I recently had knee surgery and spent 6 weeks on crutches. If something else happens to my knee the Attorney General will take me to the Greyhound Bus Station an drop me off. For good.
3. I get winded walking to my car.
4. I had pneumonia a month ago. (Hush! It hangs on for 6 weeks.)
5. I get winded walking.....well, you know.
6. At one point you hurl your body over a wall. Do I need to come up with more reasons?

Now, I'm not gonna type this post as if everything about the day was terrible, it wasn't. I really enjoyed doing it with the group of ladies I got to do it with. I liked every single one of them and have no problem believing that they liked me back (even though in my mind I know its because they didn't have to help hurl my body over a wall.) But I will admit to you it was the maddest I have ever been at God and His nature. I am just not an outdoorsy kind of girl.

Now had they had a ropes course inside a Sephora, I would have gladly scaled a wall for some free OPI or Kiehl's cream. Or better yet, when will a genius arise like a venus rising from the sea and open up some kind of pedicure place that serves latte's while you watch America's Funniest Home Video's of people doing ropes courses? Now there's a franchise I could get behind.

So here's to all my sweet friends who did this...

And this...

while I did this...


You make a Bucket List of things you DON'T want to do....what would be on yours?


Shelley said...

I'm sure there are 25 things that I wouldn't like to do as well (cause that whole getting winded walking to the car thing sounds SOOO familiar). But a ropes course would not have even crossed my mind. And thanks to your visuals, it will now certainly be included on my list. Hope you have a great week.

Tabi said...

oh simple, I wouldn't get out of bed today because umm our 400 degree Texas weather disappeared and it's cold outside. I miss my sweat already.

Suzy said...

Hello Melissa! It was fun hanging out with you. I was actually SORE all day Sunday and I did about as much as you! I still have visions of those poor girls trying to scale the wall. It was not pretty.


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