I Know, I Know.

"You're blog is really suckin' wind these days."


And so began my mini-vacation out of town last weekend with the AG. We had not been in the car, alone and childless, an average of 15 minutes before he told me the three things wrong with my blog:


1. You have a picture of Remi up on your blog. You do not have a picture of Rocco. Oh, and Remi is no longer nine months old.


2. You only post once or twice a week.


3. And when you do post it is really lame stuff having to do with being a mom or making dinner or something.


Oh. I'mmmmmmmmmmmm sorry. How positively silly of me to not post my latest tales of suspense and espionage when I met with Castro last week. Can you believe I forgot to post my findings when I went deep sea diving in the Gulf? Did you not see me catching flames last night on America's Got Talent?


Silly me.


This whole summer has been a blur what with the....what with the.....with the uh.....hmmm.....yeah, I got nothing. Therefore this little blog here has got nothing.


Yes, I want to write about how the key lime pie in Key West Florida is as good as I've always heard it to be. But instead I have to write how happy I am there is now a McDonalds opened up in Wal-Mart so the kids can eat apple dippers while I try to shop.


Of course I want to tell lavish stories of how the girls and I went window shopping for hours on end during our New York getaway. But truth be told, the closest I've been to New York was Houston, the closest to window shopping I got was when that homeless man cleaned our car windows with newspaper, and the most I've done with girls was a Starbucks run. (If nothing else, we're caffeinated.


You know I want to tell you all about my experience judging on So You Think You Can Dance - but the nearest I came to that was laying on the couch in my bathrobe while two children climbed on me and made remarks like, "Have 'oo brushed 'ur teef?" and "bref stinky," while I yelled things like, "You call that a cha-cha? I'll show you a cha-cha."


So, let's see, AG: Why do we think it is our blog doth stinketh?


Maybe if I got away more often. Alone. Without children. Or you. And showered. Maybe I would feel more like writing.


Or maybe if even one day a week someone made ME a sandwich with marshmallow creme or stuck a little straw through a juice pouch and handed it to me, I wouldn't "suck wind" as you say.


Better than all that? Someone start school back. Please!


Because as much as I enjoy swimming every day with my kiddos (and I actually do), as much as I enjoy taking them to the summer dollar movie and getting that $1 popcorn (and I love it) or stopping for a sno-cone on a hot day (and I think you know how I feel about sno-cones), what I really enjoy is the first day that school has started back and preschool is in session. And I find myself alone in my house.
And I shower.
And crawl under my sheets.
And suck wind.