Jun 27, 2010

My Thoughts.

Why won't He just let me be?
Why won't He leave me alone?

Why must He be so persistant? So relentless?

Why won't He stop pursuing me?
Stop prodding me?
Stop asking of me?

Of course I say that. But what if He did?

What if one day He really did stop?

What then?

I say I'm unhappy here, where I am, this place.
But where would I be then?

I say I'm miserable with the way I am.
But what I would be like then?

I say "I can't live like this another day!"
But what if I had to?

What if nothing ever changed
or grew
or increased
or matured
or thrived
or flourished
or flew
or bloomed
or blossomed
or lived....
because He went away.

All because I asked Him to.

What then?

So how much do I want Him?

Enough to do something?
Enough to listen when He speaks?
Enough to move when He prods?
Enough to grow when He waters?

Enough to fly when He pushes?

I say I want Him to leave me alone.

But I don't.


Laurie said...

SO true! I love your blog and living in East Texas I can totally understand some things! Your blog is a joy to read and keeps my mind thinking...about the things I should. Thanks for taking the timne to blog!

Kate Jackson said...

I'm glad He cares enough to make us uncomfortable sometimes. I've been feeling a lot of the same things lately, so just know you're not alone!

Candice said...

Absolutely what I needed to hear today... love you and miss you!

Melissa said...

I love this! I thought I was the only one who felt this way. This is why I love you so! I know we've never met IRL, but I so treasure who you are and what that means to me! You are so much like me it's scary. I really mean that, sister. So when are we going to meet? It must happen someday.