May 12, 2010

While I've Been Away...

Hello, my name is Melissa. I used to have a blog.

Ya know how I'm feeling? I'm feeling like that kid in the 4th grade class who missed three weeks of school due to Scarlet Fever, he comes back to school having lost 30 pounds and the teacher says, "Wow, Tommy - you have had perfect attendance this year."

I've been gone, people! Hasn't anyone missed me?

I mean I know I'm not Bryan Williams reporting the top news stories of the day, and I know the most important things I post are what my children are up to and horror stories from the bathroom - but for pete's sake, a girl likes to know she's missed.

You can thank DELL for my absence. I don't know, maybe you can thank me, maybe I downloaded a virus, but I don't think so. I think it's them. I always think it's them. Passing blame is kinda "my thang."

So I've been without a computer for over a week and find the only times I can post anything to my blog is when I go to my mother's. But then I have to contend with her filling my ear with things like, "Did I tell you your aunt Ruth went missing for three weeks? They found her in the lingerie department at Weiners, sobbing." Or my all time favorite, "You need to take better care of yourself and try to shed some of that water weight. I'm afraid we're going to lose you in the pool."

You can see why I've chosen to just NOT post.

But I'm here today because I have sooooo many things to say. Okay, that's a lie. In all honesty, I got nothing. I would tell you about my Mother's Day but it was NOT filled with me, alone, in a spa, or on a beach, 12 hours away from my children...so it wasn't all it could have been. But it was nice nonetheless. I got a cookbook on how to make "comfort foods" in under 350 calories. Think my family is trying to tell me something?

Oh, there was the parent / teacher conference I had with Remi's 3K teacher this past week. I cried the whole way through it. And she's only in 3K. And I love her teacher, mind you. Love. Her. But her and I decided we'd like to give that Dr. Dobson a piece of our mind by saying "Hey, you, meet Remi Hope and THEN re-write The Strong Willed Child. We dare you." We're not sure he's man enough.

Or there's the story I could tell you about how the women in my family had an intervention with me the other day about my need to buy a new bra. One of them actually told me her brand new car didn't have headlights as big as mine. I hate them. And yet I keep inviting them over. It's a sickness, really.

So that's how its been going for me. What about you all? I've missed you. And no, I haven't had Scarlet Fever and no I haven't lost 30 pounds - don't get your hopes up.

12 comments:

jan said...

i missed you and am happy you are baaaaccckkkkk :)

A Musing Mother said...

I did the Susan G. Komen 5k, speaking of boobs.

Oh. You weren't really asking.

Yes, yes, Melinda, we missed you very much.

Huh? Melissa? When did you change your name?

Katherine said...

I missed you, and kept checking for new posting hilarity, but NOOOO Melissa. Then I thought it would be lame to post a "where are you" on your last post, so I practiced my patience, realizing that you do have a life outside of webworld! Glad you are back!

Momma Rhyne said...

You just crack me up!! Man, that reminds me, I need a new bra!!

Welcome back!! (I hope your virus isn't contagious, LOL)

Ramblin' Red said...

Girl I so hear ya on the bra dept. I am Mostly Done nursing my wee one and found bras I *thought* fit, but I keep having "my cups runneth over" probs with my overachieving right boob. I keep telling her balance is key, but it ain't working. I feel like I need the bra equivalent of the shoes with a little extra on one foot, kwim? Like they make those.

CynthiaK said...

Of course everyone missed you. :)

And I hate computer issues. They are poison. Poison! Glad you've got yours back and working. Welcome back to the blogosphere.

Rhonda said...

You're back in true Melissa style. lol!! My oldest has some Remi in her, but add to that the mean and angry that she's always been. Which is why I get to spend my lunch hour next week on a phone interview with children's mental health to see how they can best help Asia. Sigh.... I'm pretty sure I'll cry my way through that too.

Have a great day .... And get a new bra for crying out loud! lol

leaking crazy said...

and everything is right with the world. i'm rooting for remi peaking early. it will be smooth sailing from here, i'm sure of it.

Hillary said...

When I read Dobson books (and I do like them) and start feeling guilty about not doing a good enough job, I remind myself that Dobson was at work while his wife was home raising his kids - she should write a book.

Anonymous said...

I love your blog, I look for updates everyday. I missed you so much and I don't even know you. I am a small town girl from East Texas and now live in the Houston. I have passed your blog around to everyone I can think of because I love it so much. My 2 yr old girl is just like Remi (but everyone thinks she acts just like me, I like to think she act like Remi). It is so good to know that I am not the only one with crazy women in my family that are over opinionated, not the only one with big headlights (LMBO), and loves their crazy strong willed kids so much!

Thank you for helping get through my day!
April

Katherine, Kat, Kate, KT, KTal, M Talley, Talley, Kat-Talley, K-Tizzle, and any derivitive of Katherine other than Kathy said...

I totally missed you, but honestly, I'm glad you took..er dell made you take a break. My mom and I were able to catch up on your hilarious blog posts! Welcome back and KEEP IT UP!!(please!)

Tonya said...

Definitely missed you! Welcome back, and I am glad it wasn't the scarlet fever.

Couple things...
What is up with your date stamp? When I saw 12.5.10 I thought maybe you were posting from the future. Is this a military thing?

And, how on earth did I have to find out about Sandra's adoption while in line at the grocery store? I count on you to give me the scoop on pop culture, adoption, and especially Sandy. Truly, I was shocked that I hadn't read it here first.

Have a great weekend. And yes, I want to hear all about it on Monday!