May 3, 2010

Reasons I Want To Runaway...But Never Will.

Recently I have taken to posting some "controversial" topics that have made headlines here on my blog, because I have noticed you all come out like gangbusters when I ask for your opinion.

Which goes to prove this blog is read primarily by women since we have this chip in our DNA that emotes some sort of high pitched squeal when anyone, anywhere wants to know our opinion. (Some of us have a chip in our DNA that goes off regularly, whether anyone asks or not - I have one of those) And so today I am writing about poor, poor, pitiful Tiffany. Our 2010 newsworthy Runaway Mom as she has become known. Remember her story?

To him, she was an angel. To her, he was a way out.

Tiffany Tehan and Tre Hutcherson explain why they ran off together.But runaway mom Tiffany Tehanand Tre Hutcherson are now back in Ohio dealing with the fallout from their week on the run that triggered a nationwide search.

Tehan, 31, admitted on "Good Morning America" today that she has visited with her daughter Lexie, who is 13-months-old, only once she returned from south Florida last week.

Hutcherson, 42, said he had notified his wife by text message that he was leaving her. His wife has since filed for divorce.

Their sprint from their marriages included pictures of the couple from their time in Florida flashing wide grins while on the beach.

But Hutcherson said he knew they would runaway romance was coming to an end.

Hutcherson said he had been monitoring news of the search from his laptop, keeping the details from Tehan at her request. Then he read that the FBI had joined the manhunt.

"At that point I knew we were on a short time frame before we were going to be found," he told "Good Morning America" the couple's exclusive morning show interview.

"I really didn't think anyone would look that hard for me," Tehan said. "Maybe a little bit, but not nearly what it turned into."

Tehan said she cracked under the pressure "to be perfect."

"In a nutshell I was feeling pretty overwhelmed with life, just the pressures of work and raising a 1-year-old daughter," she said. "I wish that I had handled things completely differently."

Hutcherson said the decision to flee to southern Florida was a "spur of the moment" decision sparked by an off-the-cuff comment."I said, 'Sometimes I think about getting on [Interstate] 75 and driving down to Florida and getting away for it all,'" Hutcherson said. "And she said flippantly, 'Don't forget to take me along.'"

The discovery of Tehan's SUV abandoned with a flat tire and they keys still inside panicked her family, but Hutcherson said the purposely left the keys inside as a courtesy to her husband so he'd still be able to use it.

Tehan disappeared while she was supposedly shopping on Saturday, April 17. Tehan and Hutcherson will not face criminal charges, but will pay thousands in restitution to help cover the cost of the search, an attorney for the couple told ABC News last week.

Tehan said she assumed her husband and daughter would be fine without her.

"I would have never ever have left her if I thought she wasn't well cared for," she said. "The only reason I didn't take her is because I didn't want to trigger an Amber Alert."

For his part, her husband David Tehan, has seemed immediately forgiving.

"She may
have made some mistakes, but everyone does," he said recently.


I suppose in some, distorted way, I sympathize with Tiff. If we were honest with ourselves - we probably all do. I'm sure at some time or another we have all felt the pressure to be perfect. I'm sure at some point a one year old made us want to flee for the border. And I would wager a bet that every one of us have, at some time, looked at our spouse and thought, "if you don't pluck that nose hair I am going to come at you in your sleep."

But did we run? I haven't. I've wanted to. But I haven't. And here's why. Just in case you wanted my opinion. Though you probably didn't. So get your own blog.

Reason I Want to Run:

Because sometimes I don't want to get up with small children at 6am. I don't want to do the same thing I did yesterday and the day before that and the day before that. I don't want to make chocolate milk in the same Cinderella cup that I make it in every day. And I don't want to wash the same pair of Old Navy shorts out night after night so that he can wear his favorite pair. Sometimes I just want Monday to look different than Tuesday; but it rarely ever does.

Reason I Won't:

Because I used to wake up on Mondays and wonder what I was going to do with myself. I wondered who I was. What I was here for. I was 15. I was 24. I was 28. And I never really knew. And then you came along and you gave me purpose. You reminded me of what I was put on earth to do for this season. Be here for you. And sometimes when I am washing out your blanket that has grass stains and boogers, I look at it and think "for such a times as this." And I thank God for every season under heaven. A season like this, when you need me. And a season to come later, when you won't.

Reason I Want to Run:

Because you call me at home from work and ask me to do something for you (pick up your cleaning, make your doctor appt., schedule the bug guy, pay the light bill) and God forbid I forget to do it.

Reason I Won't:

I was sitting in the doctors office the other day and I got a text from you, "Can you run by the pharmacy and pick up my prescription?" I wanted to scream because it was just another thing I had to cram into an already packed day, but as I looked across the room I saw the cutest little brunette sitting there. She was about my age. Except she looked thinner and not nearly as tired. And I thought to myself, "What if it was her he was texting? What if it was her who had his attention?" And then just as quickly as I had become agitated I became thankful. Because it was me. It was me who had you. And you who had me. And then I sorta wanted to go pull her hair out but she wouldn't have understood why.

Reason I Want to Run:

Because there is a really good possibility that I am doing all of this wrong. The kids. Maybe I'm screwing them up. And the AG? What if I drive him to an early grave (which he declares every day). What if God is running His fingers through his hair and saying, "Who put her in charge? Seriously, who?"

Reason I Won't:

Because there is a really good possibility I'm not. Maybe I'm not perfect - but maybe I'm perfect for them. Maybe I'm perfect for him. And maybe God, in His infinite wisdom, is sitting back going "I can't believe we put her in charge but at least she's not running. And there's gotta be some reward in there for her just for that."

So whether they like it or not, mama ain't goin' anywhere anytime soon. And I'm hoping this is my reward...

"And her children rose up and called her blessed; her husband and he praised her..." Psalm 31:28

Though if not, a spa works nicely.


Soliloquy said...

I LU-HU-HU-HUVE this post.

I may plagiarize it.

You don't mind do you? Since I completely lu-hu-hu-huve and agree with your sentiments?

Desha said...

How do you do that? Make me laugh, and then make me cry all in the same post? I love how you speak the thoughts of mamas everywhere and put them to words so eloquently.

theglenns556 said...

Been reading your blog for a while now. Definitely my favorite in all of blog line. You make me smile, laugh, reflect, be thankful...well, you get the point.

Thanks for blogging.

Audra Laney said...

Nicki (above) referred me to your blog tonight and I'm already hooked. This post is incredible. I was just thinking the other day, "What if I were like so many girls my age I see on facebook? Skinny. Laying out at the beach on yet another vacation this year. Running out to the next big event at 10pm. While here I sit with dried boogers on my pants, having no clue what's in style this year and growing child number 2 and cooking dinner for the man I married 6 years ago." But then I thought--my life would be like it was when I lived that way...pointless, to a degree. Feeling without purpose. And I know I'm right where He wants me. And I know there's a reward coming from Him! You summed up my thoughts beautifully! Thanks :)

Jessica said...

She is a friend of a friend. (As loathe as I am to type those words- I know that is so "his baby momma's cousin's stepmom's sister" but it is what it is.)

In all seriousness though, the main reason I have issue with it is the fact that she truly disappeared. She had the police wasting hours of manpower and friends and family thought the worst had happened. They found her abandoned car and they started a facebook page to bring in tips and asking for prayers.

IF you are going to bail on your family- "man up" and tell them. Call, write, leave a note. Don't put hundreds of people through unnecessary pain and effort. Running away from your children is selfish enough, at least have the decency to be a grown up about it and let people know you are safe.

Anonymous said...

IS VERY GOOD..............................

Kaye said...

Thank you, Melissa. You remind me of why it is worth it. And I need that sometimes.

Unknown said...

What a beautifully honest it!

Jesse said...

I always love reading your blog posts. I dont know how you continue to make me laugh and cry and learn something (or at least remember what I know to be truth in my heart) every single time I stop by to read. Thank you for sharing.

Melissa Lee said...

Glad all of you liked the post and identified with my thoughts. And my heart. And Soliloquy, copy, paste, do whatever you want to with it - just make sure you deposit your check into my account. (ha) Thanks!!

Heather said...


Here from Soliloquy's place. And I lo-hu-hu-huve this too. Thanks for such great thoughts!

nanny said...

What a great post....things we need to definitely think about!!!
Good Job!

Texasholly said...

this was great.

Brooke said...

Absolutely loved and identified with every word!