How Serious Was Our Promise?

What a week it has been for the White family.

To fill you on who the White family is, I shall explain; so that you will understand there actually is a White family and I am not just a racist.

The White family is my uncle Donald, my aunt Melba (go ahead and laugh at that name...we all do. It's a tad southern) and my cousins Meridith and Brandon (aka Bubba).

Meridith and Bubba should sound familiar to you, I spend almost every free moment with them.

When my UnkaDonald (and yes, I meant to type it like that because that is how Remi says it....all in one short breath) was 17 he was diagnosed with cancer. For a year of his life he spent fighting off cancer and won! But not without many radiation treatments in the process. Here we are some 30 years later and finding out that the radiation used in the late 70's, early 80's on some people caused a heart condition that literally makes their heart a "heart of stone."

Without trying to sound like I have a medical degree, because let's be honest, I don't and I'm pretty sure y'all could see right through the facade - my uncle Donald is, as of now, losing this battle.

On October 1st he went in to have a routine procedure done at a hospital in Houston and he hasn't been home since.

Neither has Melba.

For almost four months she has lived in a hospital room, made a bed out of recliner, showered in a small, sterile space with a shower head and eaten hospital food. She has made friends with nurses, exchanged Christmas gifts with hospital staff and loved and cared on the man she met when she was only 15. As she told me last night, "He's it for me." And he is.

It makes you really think about the fact that we promise "to have and to hold from this day forward, for better for worse, for richer for poorer, in sickness and in health, to love and to cherish; from this day forward until death do us part."

Do we mean it? A month ago I asked The AG to see a Doctor about his cough; not because it worries me but because it drives me up a wall. When he pulled his shoulder out of alignment a few years ago I laughed until tears fell down my face. And when he took a really hard fall in a thunderstorm not too long ago - and could have broken a lot more than his pride - my only response was that I "could not believe I didn't have my camera with me."

Not that he is surprised by my lack of sympathy. He knew I had none when he married me. Who are we kidding? He married me for my hotness.

But would my commitment to him, the one I made before God and 400 friends and a really zealous photographer, would it kick in if that moment ever came?

Would I be willing to trade my bed for a plastic recliner?

Would I be willing to leave my cozy little cottage for a room that smelt like ammonia, needles and sadness?

Would I lovingly kiss the mouth of a man who hadn't been able to bathe, shave or laugh day after day, night after night?

Would I wake up every morning, get dressed, and begin talking to someone who couldn't speak back to me?

When I think about The Attorney General I don't hesitate for a moment to say unequivocally "yes", "yes, yes, yes, yes". But then I remember how selfish I am and how transparent I am. And how there would be days I would wish to be anywhere other than that room - and he would see right through me and know what I was feeling. But I suppose that's marriage 101, isn't it? Quickly we learn to see past our partners eyes and into their heart. And I would hope that he would see there was no one else on the earth I would do that for but him.

My intention was not to write this post. In fact, I need to go up and change the title of it before I finish because I had fully intended to tell you something funny that happened at the hospital yesterday with Meridith. Because as she can tell you, I delight in making her the butt of a lot of my blog fodder.

But as I started to write, this poured out of me instead...

I hope today - as you are flying around the house in that 15 minute window before your husband gets home, hurriedly picking up toys and laundry so that it will look like you spent all day doing it - I hope you take a minute and stop. Pour your honey a big glass of iced tea and meet him at the front door. Wrap your arms around him. Give him a big, fat healthy kiss. Tell him you missed him. Tell him you love him. Forgive him. For whatever. And hold him tightly.

Because no matter what he's done, ladies. He's yours. For better for worse, for richer for poorer. In sickness and in health.

And may we all, have the heart of my aunt - who admirably got up this morning, showered, read her Bible, kissed her husband (who may or may not have even felt her lips) and reminded herself, "He's it for me."

With love,

Melissa