Dec 7, 2009

My Lovelies, Meet Leah...

I'm not exactly sure what to say to you all.

I post a blog about my sweet little girls ear infection and how I secretly love Celine Dion more than candy and you all leave me comment after comment about your failings as mothers. Huh? What? What do I say to that?

I'll tell you what I say....BRAVVVOOOO mama's. Bravo!

See? This really is the season of giving and you have all have given me something wonderful: the revelation that I. Am. Not. Alone.

Thank you. Thank you very much.

So as I was reading your comments, your FaceBook comments and your secret, private emails that you thought I would never dare share with anyone (ha! Think again.) I couldn't help but share a couple that, well, made me feel like maybe, just maybe, I might be better at this "momma thing" than I thought.

And so, I've decided to do this all special and fancy-like and lay it out in a countdown format. How Rick Dees of me, huh?

Coming in 3rd in our "Glad It Was Her And Not Me" Countdown goes to....

Sayrah's mom who let our dear, sweet Sayrah walk around for two weeks - fourteen days, people - before she took her to the doctor and realized Sayrah wasn't lying. Her arm really was broken!!!

Do you understand what I'm saying? What I'm saying is that I went to bed crying Saturday night because I thought, just thought, that I might have an ingrown toenail and Sayrah had to walk around for two weeks....

I can't even continue. I'm aghast.

I would normally be really mad at Sayrah's mom, but I'm not. Instead I feel like writing her a thank-you note for a.) making me feel normal and b.) making me laugh.

Sorry, Sayrah. Sorta.

And now, in our "Glad It Was Her And Not Me" countdown, number two. Ladies and gents, here is Karen Carter.

I'll let Karen tell you what she did: My son chad fell on his bike and was complaining about his stomach hurting. I replied "well I told you to stay on the trail with mom - so you push your bike back home if it hurts too much to ride it" After a couple blocks I could see he was hurting! Turns out he bruised his spleen. I still feel bad and its 15 years later. No wonder I spoil him now to make up for all my "mommy dearest" moments!

My favorite moment of this whole incident is that I can just hear her mommy voice (we alllllll know what the mommy voice sounds like, do we not?) saying "well I told you to stay on the trail with mom..." Because as all moms know, and children should know - we. know. it. all.

But a bruised spleen??? Holy mackerel, my kid just had an ear infection. Her kid had a bruised spleen.

Thank you, Lord, that wasn't me.
Did you hear that Lord?
It wasn't me - it was Karen Carter.
That's Karen, with a K, and Carter, with a C.
Karen Carter.
Karen.
Carter.

Enough.

And finally, drum roll please, I'd like for you to meet Leah. (I don't know how to get a hold of Leah. If you know her tell her to come accept her award.)

Leah says, "I'm pretty sure I can claim 'mom of the year' ....... when my son was 12 we were standing in line at school to register. The line was going fairly slowly and my son, who is typically chipper started looking pretty bored and as each minute passed he looked more and more 'disgusted' with the waiting. Very unlike him so I lectured him about standing around looking lifeless and like 'death passed over' and I was telling him that we don't always like what we have to do but we still have to keep a good cheerful attitude and then he tells me he feels very tired so I started lecturing him about how we probably need to make his bedtime earlier and next thing I know he's down on the ground having a seizure and then he quit breathing. Luckily the school nurse was there that day but it required an ambulance and trip to ER. Luckily he is totally fine and healthy and almost 16 and it was some freak thing but I felt SO AWFUL afterwards about lecturing him on his lifeless state.

I feel absolutely horrible for saying this, I really do, but every time I read this I laugh. Mainly because how many of us have given the ol' "you can get glad in the same pants you got mad in" speech. (I see a few hands.) But how many times have they ended up with a seizure and an ambulance?

I mean, is that just a really crappy momma day or what?

Poor Leah, in the south we say "bless her heart" for someone who we know is pitiful or for someone who is going to have a first class ticket to hell. Leah, my love, that is you.

Oh, I'm kidding, you're really not. I am sure, like most momma's, you went to bed that night, balled up into a fetal position and said 45 Hail Mary's over the things you said / screamed at your children. Your sins are forgiven, my child. Live long and prosper.

So thank you all for making me feel like part of a massive army. An army of untrained, undisciplined, misfit soldiers; who when it came right down to it, wouldn't trade their job for anything in the world.

NOW GET UP OFF THAT FLOOR!!!

10 comments:

Tabi said...

Oh the laughter!! Thanks for that! I am completley waiting for crappy momma moment seeing as my oldest has woken up nearly every single day this year with, "my throat hurts", I tell her, "your throats everyday, get your butt up and go to school." I'm sure one day her throat is going to be nasty and I won't even know it!

Anonymous said...

I'm not sure why I didn't comment the other day, but I feel the need to tell ya, "You're SO not alone!" I have more Mommy of the Year stories than I care to remember.
Like the time I was pregnant with my 2nd child and so.very.tired. I laid down to take a nap, only to wake up 30 minutes AFTER my daughter's school bell rang. And she was in 1st grade and had stayed home with me the entire time before she started K. So, yeah, she completely thought I'd abandoned her.
Or the time I forgot it was a 1/2 day, and the school secretary had to call and ask if I was picking her up that day! And, yeah, it was at the same school with the same secretary! Sigh.
Or the time my 3rd had another ear infection, and I decided to follow the advice of many and not take him to the doctor, b/c, really, he's been on so many antibiotics already and they're not good for him, he'll be fine. Well, he woke with stuff coming out of his ear, and I caved. I wanted to die when the doctor said his ear drum had RUPTURED! From then on, I quickly took him in!
And I'm sure I could tell many more such stories. So, hold your head high, but not too high, b/c I would venture to say, this won't be your last Mother of the Year story! ;)

Heather

Karen Carter said...

What me an award?? I just want to thank all the people who voted for me!(Well mostly you Melissa because thankfully only one vote was needed)I feel so honored to have been mentioned on your blog. I feel like SUCH A BIG DEAL! Well frankly I always have been but it sure is nice to be recognized. What? this isn't an award? Well I was thinking after reading all those stories mine wasn't that bad after all! So I just know I am back in the running for the mother of the year!But if I never receive it,it will be enough to be mentioned by you! I adore your blog and you always make me smile! I will go out and toast you with a peppermint mocha and a nice scone. Or heck maybe a hot cocoa and a big ole doughnut! Many thanks and love..

Sissy said...

I once told a substitute teacher I was feeling sick to my stomach. She was new and did not believe me. I told her again. And again. She finally let me go to the nurse...a little too late. I threw up on the nurse's shoes when she opened the door.

Melissa said...

My BFF and I almost started a "Bad Mommies" Blog, but decided against it for fear of realllllly bad mommies confessing realllllly bad things.....Didn't want to have to appear in court or anything....:)

I totally fit right in here. Just sayin'.

Melissa said...

My BFF and I almost started a "Bad Mommies" Blog, but decided against it for fear of realllllly bad mommies confessing realllllly bad things.....Didn't want to have to appear in court or anything....:)

I totally fit right in here. Just sayin'.

This Little Hen said...

Oh I have had those moments! My first one was when I wasn't paying attention the when I was cutting my daughters nails and cut her little finger pretty bad. No stiches or anything, but like a really bad paper cut! But she bled FOREVER!
Make sure to come check out my giveaway!

Masala Chica said...

Whenever I have a crappy mommy moment, I know my real friends because they will make sure I know about their even crappier mommy moment. Throw in a few tears on my ends and the floodgates open - I think they actually embellish and maybe even lie to make me feel better. but this is motherhood amongst friends.

Crazy Sister said...

"Hurry up, RUN!" I yelled at my little girl last week when we were late to school.

She ran, tripped, and took all the skin off her knees.

No more running when late. Accidents cause too much mother guilt!

Randi Giddens said...

I am coming in a little late on the commenting, but figured I would give you my worst (so far)bad mommy moment. Our pediatrician always told me to never clean a child's ear with a Q-Tip because it's dangerous. His actual words were "Never put anything smaller than your elbow in her ear". LOL-Anyways, when my oldest was about 6 months old she had some "crud" in her ear and it was driving me crazy. So, against the dr.'s previous advice and against my own good judgement, I broke out the Q-Tip. I cleaned her ear and she started screaming. I just knew I had hurt her beyond repair. I took her to the doctor and he examined her. I had actually BUSTED HER EARDRUM. Needless to say, I cried like a baby and threw away and banned all Q-Tips from my house. Now I listen to my doctor's advice to the "T". You are not alone. We all have bad moments-some worse than others.