Are We Absolutely Sure This Wasn't My Mother?

First of all, Thank You. Thank you all.

The tips and advice and words of wisdom you all gave me concerning Rocco's penchant for getting up 12, 13 times a night were priceless. You may think I only got 13 comments but I assure you I did not. There were comments aplenty on my Facebook page and then there were my family members who feel they should email me directly due to some of the inappropriate comments they tend to leave ("like what" you ask? Like this, "Melissa, the last thing you need to be doing is getting up and down from off the floor, you're back is already so week because your boobs are too heavy. Less salt might help!")

I plan on trying several of them, maybe, if I get up some courage, or energy or my spanking spoon breaks in half (yep, the very same one from TN! It's like my licence or my Eat Mor Chiken gift card, I never leave home without them). I'm kidding. I don't spank him - he's only one year old. He's still a little small for all the power that my heaving bosoms can direct his way.

On another note...

My mom was M.I.A for about three hours on Saturday. She said she went to Target.
I think she went to Tampa.

Woman drives into aquarium at Tampa airport
Motorist, child OK after vehicle slams into 1,500-gallon tank
updated 12:33 p.m. CT, Tues., Nov . 10, 2009
TAMPA, Fla. -

The driver and the child in her lap survived when a pickup slammed into a 1,500-gallon aquarium at Tampa International Airport, officials said. The tropical fish were not so lucky.

Airport officials say 36-year-old Yamile Campuzano-Martine lost control of her truck and drove into the saltwater tank outside the American Airlines baggage claim Monday night. Airport spokeswoman Brenda Geoghagan said the driver had an unrestrained

6-year-old boy in her lap.

About 90 percent of the 30 to 40 saltwater fish in the tank

were killed.

Let us count all the reasons why this could have been my mother:

1. She detests flying on American Airlines. She's a Continental kind of girl.

2. Don't even get her started on baggage claim.

3. Hello! She was riding with an unrestrained child on her lap. It had to be her. This is the same woman who asks me every. single. time. we are in the car together if she can take BOTH of my children out of their car seat; "They have just been missing me and will probably calm down if I hold them." (They haven't been missing her, we live 67 steps from her home. I know. I've counted.)

4. I don't think she has one good memory in her lifetime that include saltwater fish.

So if you saw my mother, or an Elton John look-a-like, at the local Target on Saturday I'm gonna need you to fess up. Otherwise, I'm checking her purse for Kingfish.