May 11, 2009

Weekend Recap: What Was I Thinking?

Isn't there a country song that says, "What was I thinking?"

Dear Lord, that's like asking if there are fish in the sea. OF COURSE there's a country song that says "what was I thinking" - it comes right after the line "Hey Mr. Jack Daniels..." and right before the line "I thought she was good-lookin' but my eyes kept blinkin'."

I'm proud to say I made up that line just then. You probably never would have guessed that, huh?

So Friday night the Attorney General begins "the shake-down." This is what we refer to as his ability to drive me absolutely crazy until I say "yes" to something that I would normally say "are you freakin' kidding me?" too.

It always works.

I eat sushi today thanks to "the shake-down."

I spent two hours screaming for my life in dirty lake water after he flipped our jet skip and we had to be rescued...all thanks to "the shake-down."

And I once spent the entire evening with another married couple that he inadvertently said "sure, we'll go out one night with you guys, sure, we'd love to" and that I would almost swear wanted to do I blog this...hmmm....let's see....wanted us to go back to their hotel room with them - all because of the infamous "shake-down."

Let's just say the man has a way with words.

So his shake-down worked and the next thing I know I am loaded into our car WITH OUR TWO KIDS for a 12 hour road trip to Texas. What was I thinking??

His thought was that he didn't want to spend another week away from me and the kids while he stayed in Texas for business and I sat at home pulling out clumps of my hair and eating butter. No matter the reason, it was sweet and I was convinced and I said "yes" and that is why I call him The Attorney General because he can not only convince you to do anything in the free world, he can make you happy to do and make you feel indebted to him and his persuasive abilities. Unless of course the plan falls apart and then he makes you feel as if you were an idiot to ever think of it and he looks at you with shame and disgust.

Gosh, I love that man.

So Saturday we take a 12 hour road trip. Have I ever mentioned my children on this blog?

Yep, I've got two of them.

One of them (we won't name names) can't fall asleep until he has cried himself into a bonafied frenzy and finds it most relaxing to poopy every time we pass a billboard. The other one finds watching movies in the car as good as heroin and can watch them endlessly until nine hours in and she begins to scream, "Let me outta this car! Let me outta this car."

We did make it to Texas, though for the record I would like to say there is a Cracker Barrel bathroom in Vicksburg, MS that will never - ever - be the same again. Thank you. And good night.


So the AG tells me that he really likes the new soap I bought at Costco the other day and put in our shower. It's Oil of Olay Moisturizing Soap with Shea Butter. Yum. I tell him I will buy anything that has the word butter in it; for face, body, mouth, doesn't matter. To which he replies, "Yeah, I've pretty much never seen a butter you didn't like."

Fifteen minutes later I receive Remi's Mother's Day gift that she made at school. Questions about mom, FUN! Apparently I am 6 years old, 20 feet tall, I'm pretty when I wear a dress, and mommy's favorite food? You guessed it. Butter.


Mom called me from the store the other day and said she found something for me to hang in my house. She said it was my life verse. I thought about all the scripture verses I've read over the years that have impacted me in a particular season, ones I've clung to and ones that have meant the world to me. I love a good life verse.

Which one was it?


And sadly, I could not have agreed more.


DysFUNctional Mom said...

Happy Mother's Day!

Sticky (not too) said...

What a perfect way to start my monday morning, a great laugh!! I loved reading your blog -It is so nice to meet you!
(and I would worry about anyone who doesn't love butter)

Lynda said...

Your mom is great!

Faith(ful) Reader said...

So was the "bathroom at the Vicksburg Cracker Barrel" event similar to when "somethin' bad was goin' down at the Comfort Inn?" For an old fart, I love a good poop story.

Melissa said...

Oh man, I was all ready to be washed in the water of the Holy Word.....

This one is very true, though. Just had mine done yesterday along with my eyebrows. Thank you Lord.

Melissa said...

I was speaking in re: to the last paragraph and life verse, in case i was a little vague.

Wow, I guess that one "shake-down" almost turned into a "swing-down"....glad you made it out unscathed....:)

Anna See said...

Nothing wrong w/ a little (or a lot!) butter! Loved this post. Hope your time in TX goes well.

Tina said...

Vicksburg is my hometown. I'll warn my parents about Cracker Barrel. Although, I'm sure the bathroom wasn't that great to begin with. Happy Mother's Day!

Melinda Means said...

I'm with ya! I do love me a good hair day ... and speaking of delicious soaps.. have you ever been to Lush? It's a homemade cosmetics place in one of our malls. They make soaps and shampoos called things like Chocolate Bliss and Raspberry Rapture or something like that. Sinfully indulgent! :)


Pam said...

love the laugh!! thanks! now i must go do my hair!! :)