Who Had More Plastic Surgery? Kelli Pickler or Frankie Avalon?

I am really not being ugly in my title. Personally, I thought Kelli Pickler looked beautiful on Idol last night...notice I didn't mention Frankie Avalon.

But those were the hot trend words being Googled. And you know the rules this week. Hey I don't make the rules, I just follow 'em.

Well, actually, I did make this rule. But I'm also following it.

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Ya know, I've been asked a lot of different things in my life.

I've been asked to sing at weddings, funerals, a football game, hockey game, 3 homecoming games and a bar mitzvah.



I've been asked to speak to ladies groups, couples groups and women in prison.


I've been asked to provide the games at, well, at every party I go to (I AM REIGNING GAME QUEEN!).


I've been asked to scoot over, pay the bill, shut-up, change the channel and make a decision.


I've been asked to color people's hair, cut people's hair and hush up about people's hair.


But I have never - ever - been asked to blog about something, by another blogger; considering the request came from someone who actually HAS a blog, I am deeply honored.

I suppose the reason she didn't want to do it herself is because she is a major player on the staff at a major church and blogging about such things is lowly and beneath her...so she passes them off to me. That may be the case, but it's not the reason I'm giving. I'm assuming she passed it to me because she thinks my writing is prolific. Yeah, that's it, that's the reason I'm going with.

So I received an email from this "major player" yesterday with the following pictures and description:

Ladies, a few ideas for your new spring wardrobe. COMING SOON TO A WAL-MART NEAR YOU !What you see below are not see-thru skirts. They are actually prints on the skirts to make it look as if the panties are visible and these are the current rage in Japan .. They'll be the rage here in Canada and the USA soon. The end is near! I forward this as a public service, so you won't have a heart attack when the rage reaches the North America .

Okay, here on my thoughts on this issue:

1. I don't know that I see the problem. Seriously, what is everyone so upset about? If I've read this correctly - and indeed I have - I will have the option to wear a skirt that gives a false impression of my backside. Let me tell you the only thing worse than this: wearing a skirt that gives a realistic impression of my backside. Mainly because the picture would be both embarrassing and degrading and also because the skirt would have to be much larger. And I'm not really into those Do-si-Do skirts that people wear when they go to hoe-downs. Seriously, as horrible as those backsides look on that skirt they look a heck of a lot better than what I'm carrying around back there.

2. I checked this out on Snopes.com and I'm sad to say, it isn't true. The skirts WILL NOT be available in the U.S. So don't get your hopes up. On the up side, we can continue to eat what we want and stay in a horizontal position on the couch without people looking at the backs of our skirt and mumbling under their breath, "Oh yeah, right. Sure."

3. I will be moving to Japan later in the year.

4. Let us begin to pray now that they come out with a swimsuit that has Elle McPherson's body imprinted on it. I would be willing to pay $84,000 for this. Anyone with me?