Jan 16, 2009

It's Friday. Seriously, What Else Have I Got?

So my mom calls me today to ask me how she would tell her friend to go to my blog. What? I've had this thing for well over a year and you don't know how to get to it?

"Well, it's hard. First I have to cut on my computer..."

At this point I'm hoping her friend knows it's a risk going in if you have to - gasp! - cut on your computer.

"Then I have to enter my password which I can never remember. So then I have to call your daddy at work to get him to give it to me again, which it's my pin number for my bank so then I remember it as soon as he says it. And I get mad that I bothered to call."

This is going to be awkward, my mom's friend is going to have to call my dad every day at his work just to get my mom's pin number. Wow, this is a hassle.

"Then when my computer comes up I have to go to my Favorites..."

"Oh, it's listed under your favorites?"



"So then after going to my Favorites, I..."

"Mom. Can I just tell you how to get there directly?"

"Yes, that would be good."

"Go to www.thestretchmarksblog.com"

"And that's it?"

"That's it."

"Well, Granny told me that you had to..."

"Mom, don't listen to Granny, she unplugs her computer every time she logs off. Just take my word for it."

"Okay, well, Sister L wants to start reading it."

"Mom, don't tell Sister L about my blog. It's a dumb blog. She won't find anything there worth reading. She's smart and intellectual and she cooks really great, she'll be bored."

"I know, I tried to tell her that, but she still said she wanted to read it."

"Thanks mom."

"You're welcome, love."

So mom, Sister L, here is my Friday's blog post. It is deep. It is super spiritual. And chances are - you'll want to teach it in your next Bible Study or Sunday School class session. So grab a pen and paper...and don't say you weren't warned.

To find your ROCK STAR NAME take your first pet & current car:

Chrissy Lexus

To find your GANGSTA NAME take your favorite ice cream flavor and your favorite cookie:

Vanilla Oreo

Your favorite color and favorite animal:

Green Lion

Everybody wants a SOAP OPERA NAME, so take your middle name and the city where you were born:

Paige Lufkin

Want to know your SUPERHERO NAME? Just add the word "The" plus your 2nd favorite color, and your favorite drink:

The Blue Pepper

Oh gross. Your NASCAR NAME. Take the first names of your grandfathers:
Lester LeRoy

If I ever go into WITNESS PROTECTION you can find me with this name. Your mother’s & father’s middle names:

Annette Eugene

? Just take your 5th grade teacher’s last name and add a major city that starts with the same letter:

Harrison Houston

Of course, if you find me in witness protection I will assume it was because you were using your SPY NAME. Add your favorite season/holiday to your flower:

Fall Lilly

Tell your kids their CARTOON NAME by taking your favorite fruit, an article of clothing you’re wearing right now, now add "ie" or "y":

Peaches Flannelie

And lastly, your ROCKSTAR TOUR is heading across the northeast...it's called
("The” + Your fave hobby/craft, your fave weather element + the word “Tour”):

The Television Thunderstorm Tour

Happy Friday, my lovelies!


Anonymous said...

Crazy Lady-up-and-on-the-computer-at-the-crack-o-dawn-like-me-say-What?
Why don't we sleep when we're able?
Just cuh-ray-zee ain't it?

~Other Mel

Sidney (Sixy Mama) said...

I'm SO going to do that on my blog today...since I haven't posted all week, and my last post was a lame video of my oldest son dancing to N*Sync....

Amy said...

Melissa, I think I've been reading long enough to know that you won't take this the wrong way. It's meant to be a compliment!! After I read some of my spiritual friends' blogs, I feel a little down on myself for having only fluff on mine. Then I come here and you always make me laugh, laugh, laugh. Thank you!! :-)

Amy said...

Oh, I should have signed this by my rock star name - Willie Tahoe.

Cheryl said...

I think I'll do this on my blog too... Great post. :-)

Lisa@BlessedwithGrace said...

This is the BEST!!!

Rhonda said...

Okay two things.

One. If I don't find your blog boring, does that mean that I'm not smart or intellectual and that I can't cook? I'm totally okay with that, I was just checking.

Second. I feel the need to share a couple of these names.

Nascar name: Orville Fred (nice huh?)
Gangsta name: Barney chocolate chip
Rock star name: Princess Acadian
Soap opera name: Jo Edmonton (Now is THAT sexy, or what??)
Rock star tour: The Blog Sun Tour
Superhero name: The Black Slurpee

Have a great weekend!

Lisa@BlessedwithGrace said...

I had to post this on my blog with links to you. So fun. Here are my favorite, of mine:
Rock Star: Daisy Ford
Detective Name: Pink Dawg
Rock Star Tour: The Crochet Sunshine Tour

Thanks again for the laugh! I love your blog, and tell people, all the time, to check you out!!

Lynda said...

Oh, that was fun:
Rock Star: Sassy Beetle
Gangsta: Pineapple Snickerdoodle
Witness: Sue Samuel
Spy: Autumn Daffodil
Cartoon: Cherry Fleecey

Aja Jenise said...

You just perked up my day... were gonna have fun with this one!!

Outnumbered2to1 said...

Okay that's funny. I never tell people I blog. My friend, on the other hand, had business cards made up and passes them out.

Paige said...

Melissa, I have tagged you for an award. Come by and take a look. I love your blog and read it daily! You absolutely make me smile.

Crazy Sister said...

I love those names! I want to print out the list, but when I try to do stuff like that I wind up in the same sort of stupid computer troubles that your mum gets in.

And sister L will love your blog.

Rhea said...

The conversation with your mother had me laughing. Who cuts on the computer? Or unplugs every time they shut down?! hehehehe

sharilyn said...

love this, but i do have to wonder what kind of a detective would have a name like Periwinkle Okapi?!?! : )

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