Aug 14, 2008

The Attorney General: 1972-2008

No, I haven't killed him. I do, however, have a call into our life insurance agent. THEN I will kill him.

At least I'm laying it out here for the world to see. That way no one has to do one of those special 2 hour Dateline: Mystery shows on me. I'm going ahead and confessing. I'm going to kill the man.

If you have no idea what I'm talking about then you haven't read yesterday's post. Go ahead. I'll give you a moment.

Yeah, right?

I thought I'd have your support after that.

Trust me, if the man hadn't been an absolute doll these last few days he'd be dead already. But until he hires someone else to rub Icy Hot on my neck, bring me chocolate milk when I whine, and turn off CSI when I'm trying to eat, then he's the only game in town.

Things are good around here. Thank you all for your prayers. I am up and feeling better today than I thought I would. I even did laundry. And y'all - I don't do laundry when I'm living high on the hog, so what'swupwiththat?

Pain medicine.

You guessed it. There is nothing - absolutely nothing that a little Percoset won't fix. In fact, in the course of this one short day here's what I did, thanks to that special little pill:



  • I did laundry.

  • I chased Remi around the kitchen table 428 times.

  • I had a long conversation with some little green men in my room about the environment and if Britney Spears is really getting healthy.

  • I watched an Alfred Hitchcock movie.

  • I took a nap and woke up in the middle of it and screamed at a fly stuck in my windowsill. (No fly was ever found in my windowsill, by my husband.)

  • I cried myself into another nap.

  • I laughed myself awake.

  • I searched itunes until I found Bobby Brown's "My Prerogative" and listened to it and waxed nostalgic about junior high and how I wish I could go back and do it differently.

  • I cleaned in between my washer and dryer.

  • I counted to 300 - backwards.

  • I tried to convince my husband to start smoking a pipe.

  • I tried on 14 pairs of old jogging pants.

  • I had a dream that a man was chasing me and he had flies stuck in his teeth.

  • I asked my husband to teach me how to do Morse Code.

  • I found this picture of George Clooney riding his bike, on the internet. That may very well be me and I just don't remember it.




So all in all, it was a good day.

I shall be off of the Percoset by tomorrow. I just feel it's best.

34 comments:

Givinya De Elba said...

Aw, no don't kill him. I think it was sweet he kept us up to date and he obviously loves you (his cafeteria lady) so that's a good thing. I was so glad you hear you're okay.

Is Remi out of the corner already?

Kendrawolf said...

I would also threaten my hubby's life if he posted a pic like that of me! BTW, if you have any Percs left by tomorrow, send some my way!

Jenn said...

Send the remaining percoset to me! I'm sure there are many things living between my washer and dryer. Yea...it's been awhile.

Hot Tub Lizzy said...

Hmmm... see he did you a favor - because you can post ANY picture EVER that you want and we'll all think you look amazing!!!

Rhonda said...

The rest of your daily happenings I can see on any given day, but the "laundry" and cleaning between your washer and dryer IS a direct result of the medication.

And I totally believe that there was a fly in the window. I'll bet that by the time the AG got around to checking it, it had flown away (and probably also did ITS laundry, watched a movie and had a nap).

You should probably stay on the medication for awhile longer. It sounds like you are having way too much fun to stop.

Lauren W said...

Ha! Well, at least you were productive :) You might want to give that medication a break, though ;)

Amy said...

That is too funny! Glad things went ok.

Deanna said...

I'm glad you're home and resting (among other things!).

Karol said...

wow...if you're that productive that looped, maybe i should get some..hmmm..

Glad that you're feeling a bit better! Rest up and take a few more laps around the kitchen table. ;)

Karen said...

Good to here that you are feeling better.

And don't kill the AG, the photo was quite cute and he obviously cares. Throwing a pot full (sans pot) of mashed spuds at him, will probably be sufficient punishment...

Perksofbeingme said...

That's awesome. Feel better my love.

Lula! said...

No, my dear...take the meds for a few more days. Really. It will be fine.

What did the little green men know about Britney? They spill any beans on her?

Been praying for ya...

Melissa said...

Oh Melissa, dear, precious child. Milk those little pills for all they are worth. Gold....gold!
After my tubal I was given a large bottle of them and they lasted me a full year! Darn it when I was out. I looked for every excuse in the world to call my doc and ask for more. Not. habit. forming. at. all. As my nurse at the hospital informed me...."It's a NARCOTIC." Whenever I hear that word I think of Don Johnson in a pink shirt with loafers and high waters. Awww sookie!

Midwest Mommy said...

When I first saw yesterday's post I wasn't sure what to think. Then I was the first commenter so I didn't know what anybody else thought! So glad you haven't killed him yet.

BTW- you cleaned between your washer and dryer? People do that? :-)

Apryll said...

Too funny. I like the idea of throwing a pot of mashed spuds at him.

I thought his post was sweet. Glad to hear you are doing allright.

Vicki said...

If I buy your plane ticket will you come share those and we'll get all my house work done together? I promise not to take any pictures of you that aren't in the best light and from the best angle.

Kori said...

Glad to hear you're feeling on the up and up a little.

Sue said...

So glad you are doing Ok. I know I'm new here, but you were in my thoughts anyway.

Glad you didn't kill him too. haha.

Swirl Girl said...

I don't do all that without surgery! What did you have done, did you install the supermom gene or something!

(watch the happy pills, they're sneaky little things)

Kathryn said...

So glad you are feeling better. Pain meds, gooood.
Love that pic! HAHAHA!!!

Katy Lin :) said...

percoset sounds like fun! lol! we should all try some, (just kidding)

Tracy said...

I think that may be a good idea. It all sounds fascinating... but the flies in the teeth made my teeth itch. Yes, itch. And so for the sake of me ripping them out and wandering toothless for eternity, going cold turkey on the perc's might be a good idea!


Glad you're doing well. :)

Rhea said...

Oh, the joy of pain meds. I wish I had some, but then I guess I'd have the pain to go with it, and I don't want that.

Tell those little green men about your fly problem and they'll fix it right up. hehe

Ronnica said...

Seeing the list of drug-induced activities, I'm no longer sure it was AG who posted that in the first place.

Sissy said...

A friend of mine who is an OB/GYN just had a patient selling her Tylenol with Codeine to some friends for $100/pill. Maybe you could stop taking it and sell it? LOL. My friend did have to level charges on said patient though, so maybe you don't want to go to jail.

Heather said...

I'm pretty sure if that were you in the picture, you would have caught George!

So glad to hear you're feeling so good. (Maybe too good?) A suggestion: save the fly to put in AG's mashed potatoes :)

BTW, I tagged you today on my blog. Not sure if you are in any condition to be "it", but I was picking my favorite blogs, and you're on the list, girl.

Leslie said...

I just ran across your blogg from someone elses.. and the name of your Blog struck my interst. And then I read your post, and I literally laughed out loud.
Love it.

Leslie

Robin said...

Glad you are feeling better. If you really feel a need to go off your meds, save what you have left. The AG will never know when he's drinking something that has a little Percocet in it!! BWAA-HAA-HAA Sorry, sinister humor doesn't translate wellover the 'net!

ann said...

Fear not the pain meds when you have pain. Less pain means better faster healing.

DYSFUNCTIONAL MOM said...

I wondered how you'd react to that post. It was sweet though! lol
Pain Meds are good, good things. I'm glad yours are making you happy!

Leighann said...

If you can get past the hallucinations, it sounds like you were pretty productive. :) I say take the pills a few days longer.

Karen said...

Howdy! So glad to hear your hubby survived. I'm afraid that mine might not have made it out alive!
Love your blog, I look forward to reading you daily. And by the way, I tagged ya. Come on over and say hi!!

Tracy P. said...

You are the limit! The title cracked me up. Sounds like they didn't remove your sense of humor--so we'll thank the Lord for that!

Britt said...

Glad you are feeling overly good ;) Praying for you!