Apr 29, 2008

Twofer.

We did it! We took in two movies at once!
Nobody "call the law" on us (as my Granny would say) - I paid for the second one when Meridith thought I was refilling my 48 oz. Mr. Pib (which I also did.) And let me tell you - it waaaassss wonderful.

To be perfectly honest, I can't remember the last time I went to a movie, much less two. And for those of you reading this and thinking to yourself "wow, she's really going nowhere fast spending her days taking in that trash" (mom!) let me just say that I did this for Meridith. Really. It wasn't for me. It was, in a sense, a ministry opportunity.

Sorta.

We actually saw two really cute, perky, funny movies. One that made me laugh, one that made me get all misty-eyed. Just perfect for two girls out on the town. But let me tell you the real reason for this post today.

If you have ever been to a movie - and if like really does beget like and you are fan of this blog, than I imagine you go allll the time - then you very well know that what previews before your movie is really not up to you. I mean if it were I would have them show previews of Breakfast at Tiffany's, Oklahoma and Short Circuit before every movie I take in. But no! What comes up on that screen has only to do with what is about to come out in the theatres. And over this, you have no control. Which leads me to my point.

I am not a fan of scary movies. I am a fan of thrillers! There is a difference. I don't want to see someone chased with a chainsaw but I never mind watching someone run for their life in a parking garage. One makes me hurl, the other makes me scream. I prefer to watch someone moving around in a closet - not in a casket. Get my point??

So yesterday Meridith and I are anxiously awaiting the start of our movie and are gearing up for the previews which we all know is the best part, anyway, when what to my super sensitive eyes should come on the screen? Something absolutely, positively, horrifying. At least to me it was. Others of you may laugh at it, mock it, roll your eyes or dig into your popcorn. I bit my nails, gritted my teeth and let out a scream that they could hear all the way out at concessions. Normally this would embarrass Mer but she was on the verge of doing the same thing.

Don't leave me a comment asking me what the movie was. I will not promote it in any sense of the word. In fact, I woke up at 5:20AM and prayed that God would wipe it from my memory. He must still be considering my request - cuz it is very much still present.

But just so you know I will have to have someone I know and love and trust watch it and then sit down and tell me all about it. Because my husband has learned that I actually let my mind go further and darker down the mind's hallways then it ever would if I would actually watch the thing! So many times he has said, "Melissa, it might just be better if you would just watch it so you would stop imagining it and being obsessive over it." But to my defense what could I possibly imagine that would be any worse than a horror movie??? I mean - if I imagine they all die, don't they all die? To this he just answered, "Well, you have a point."

All this to say. Stay away from the movies. Don't go. Before long this movie will be shown on posters out front and will be advertising on your television.

When it does, do what I do, run as fast as you can to the remote all the while singing "Shine Jesus Shine" to the top of your lungs, press Mute, turn around and think of yourself dancing with clowns. Wait, no. Not clowns. Those things are terrifying. Think of yourself with dogs. Wait, on second thought, didn't you ever see Cujo? Think of yourself with a baby. Oh my, Chucky! (I never saw any of these by the way...just the previews. Yep, it's that bad.) Think of yourself at the beach. No wait, Jaws! Think of you at your favorite holiday. Just not Halloween!!

Oh forget it. Just watch the thing and tell me what you think.

4 comments:

Rixie said...

I thought I was the only one who got nightmares from movie trailers. I am very thankful for TiVo so I can fast forward through the scarry ones on TV. I can't watch the movies, but I will read the spoilers sometimes to put my imagination to rest. Go to www.themoviespoiler.com it has every detail of every movie out right now. It saved me from seeing Juno. Love Actually, and many others I am so happy to have skipped.

Anonymous said...

Here is a riddle for you!

I once went on a camping trip with a couple who's wife had to watch the Miss American pageant.

Who am I?

Melissa Lee said...

Okay, I'm stumped. Do you have any idea how many times I've taken a TV on a camping trip? This is nothning new. (I also enjoy reading InStyle magazines at Tennessee Titans games). However, if it was to watch the Miss America pagent that can only be one couple....but I think they live in Kenya now, so I'm stumped. Really stumped.

Tonya Lee said...

I'm so glad to find someone mention Short Circuit. Have you seen previews of the new Disney movie coming out this summer? I swear they stole the robot from Short Circuit. Check it out and tell me if you think so? Wow, I really need to get out of the house more...