Girlfriiieeeennnndddd.

If you had been a fly on the wall this past weekend, you would have been one really rich fly. Because this past weekend we stayed in the Ritz Carlton. And as God as as my witness, I shall never stay in a La Quinta again.

Granted, we stayed there because they were running a really good deal and because we were splitting it four ways, but nevertheless it was all kinds of luxury. They had a special Girlfriends Get Away weekend and since it was time for our annual pilgrimage the Golden Girls and I packed up and spent the weekend in style.

Here she is, Nicolle. My maid of honor - both in my wedding and in my life. If I got married today she would still have the same position. She loves me unconditionally, tells me when my hair looks ridiculous and rolls her eyes when I put my foot in my mouth. She never ceases to make me laugh, and her favorite people are unpretentious ones. I adore her.

This is Angela. She is the kindest person I've ever met (and I've met a lot of people.) There is no reason, whatsoever, that we should be friends. But we are. I've known her longer than I've known any other friend in my life; she is my oldest (and probably dearest) friend.

This is Kristen. She is demonstrating a pelvic thrust that she swears her 8th grade Show Choir teacher made her perform. There is no one person anywhere in the world with a memory like hers; she can remember every funny, silly, selfish, ridiculous thing we have ever said or done. She is hysterically funny...and oh, see that shirt she's wearing? Yeah, she'd give it to you in a heartbeat if you needed it. She's just that kind.

So had you been that little fly on the wall this past weekend you might have overheard four girls, who have been friends since 1st grade, and were just elated to be away from kids and carpools and reasons for having to shave their legs say...

"I'm going to go back for another dessert. I only got two that time."

"You look like a sausage, stuffed in your own casing."

"Honestly, I think a fat man should use some modesty...he was topless."

"I have always known the Mexicans to be a very happy people."

"We're not hairy anywhere."

"Y'all, he was circling me like a shark in the water."

"Alright now, Cap'n Crunch."

"He touched my little peach."

Until next year, Golden Girls. I love you.