Dear Lord, I Wish I Was A Lutheran. They Would Never Allow This.

Every year our pastor calls a fast for our church.

You don't have to do it. You won't be kicked out if you decide that you are going to eat tacos come hell or high water. It's not that strict. But he does call a corporate fast of everyone in the church who is willing. Its called a Daniel Fast. You can read more about what it is here. I myself am not wild about it as I do not personally know this Daniel character and find it a bit pushy for him to tell me what I can and cannot eat (but then again I've felt this way about every Weight Watchers leader I ever had and don't even get me started on that operator I talked to at Nutrisystem.)

But anyway, as I was saying, he calls a fast. Did I mention our pastor is a man?

I find that fasting is easier for men.

It's especially easier for men of God.

But I am a woman.

A woman of issues.

So when our pastor called this corporate fast I asked myself, "Self, do you want to go on the Daniel Fast?" And surprisingly my self told me "no." Which I found odd because usually I am just dying to go on 21 day fasts. However, instead of going on the Daniel Fast, the AG and I decided to fast something that was, indeed, a sacrifice for us. To be honest, I'm not sure what he's fasting - nor do I care. The man is so disciplined it makes me want to hurl, so I'm sure he's doing something wonderful like fasting exercise or fasting organizing his socks by colors or fasting color coding his Bible. Whatever. Who cares. All I'm concerned about during this fast is me. Me. Me. Me.

Because I'm fasting sweets.

"Awww please, Melissa. 21 days without sweets. Oh, boo-hoo. Poor, poor you. How ever will you make it?"

I hear you. I know you're saying those things. I don't care. You can smirk and mimic all day long but I will have you know that sweets are a food group to me. They are right under the food groups: Mashed Potato's, Chocolate Milk and Chicken Tenders. Me giving up sweets is like me giving up bathing: I do it every day, come rain or shine, whether I need it or not and sometimes I do it twice.

Sweets are not something I partake in on Christmas or New Years or the 4th of July because we are meeting up with friends at the lake, sweets are something that I wash my food down with. When some people say they have a "sweet tooth" I reply "well, I have sweet teeth."

First of all, let me say that I am not a good faster. I never have been. But on a serious note there are some things that I would like to see God reveal Himself in this coming year and so I took this fast seriously. I could have given up Chik-fil-A; it would have been hard but I would have been just fine. I could have given up green beans and broccoli, don't think I didn't try. But instead I prayed about what to give up and for a non-faster, giving up sweets was a good (and difficult) place for me to start.

So there are no cookies that I snack on while putting them into my kids lunchboxes. No cake when I go to friends birthday parties or showers (of which I have been to just last week........and nearly diiiiiiiieeeed). There are no Cokes or Dr. Pepper when I have a hankerin'. No ice cream during The Bachelor. There is no chocolate milk in the mornings with the kiddos. No Lucky Charms or Pop-Tarts when I'm in a hurry.

There is also no joy on my face.
No peace in my heart.
No respite for my weary soul.

So here's hoping to goodness God grants me those things before long or I might kill a member of my family and blame it on my pastor.

Oh, I'm kidding of course. There was a little joy on my face yesterday when The AG walked in from Wal-Mart and laid a bag of Chips Ahoy down in front of me. But he said it looked more like the Joker after all that acid had burnt his face than it did a really pleasant smile. So he quickly removed the bag of cookies and lived to see another day. So see? Its going well.

So for those of you who are doing the Daniel Fast or have done the Daniel Fast, I don't want to hear from you. I don't want to hear about your lament and your sorrow, I've got enough problems of my own. I want to hear from those of you who have always looked at sweets as I have - a food group all their own. Any ideas on what I might find enjoyable during this fast if it can't be Reese's? Apparently there's something out there called fruit, but I thought it only grew in the summer.

Heading in to week 2. Wish me luck. Wish my family even more.