The Seen and Unseen.

I write some real nonsense on this blog. I think we can all agree on that.

I write about my hair and my kids. I write about Mexican food and my inability to digest certain things at certain times. But sometimes, and its not very often, I write about the heavy. The real. The serious. Today is one of those.

I was watching Toy Story 3 the other night and after it was over The AG and I watched how they made it on some of the DVD bonus scenes. Scene after scene, movement after movement they draw and they draw and they draw. How tiring it must be to place every little finger, every little smirk, every little slouch, but still they do it - and suddenly a cowboy comes alive! A space ranger is born! And we revel in the joy that they painstakingly worked at.

I'll get back to Toy Story in a moment.

Let me begin by saying that I am not one fueled by fear. I don't live each moment afraid of the next. I don't fear tomorrow and I don't believe something is waiting for me under my bed. Though I have had seasons of this, fear has certainly has not been the thorn in my flesh as it were. But this morning, early, something gripped me. Something strange to me. Something uneasy. I wrestled with it for a while, then I laid it down and continued making sippy cups and lunches. Later in the morning, in the car on the way to school, it gripped me again. I wondered what it could be and then, because I'm dumb and it took me a while, I thought duh I'll take it to the one who knows.

So I began to pray.

And within seconds I had my answer.

(Side note: He doesn't always work in seconds. Boy, don't I know. So really thank Him on the days in which He does. It might prompt Him to do more timely work in the future. Though I doubt it.)

What I had been wrestling with was not fear. It was the Spirit.

Some time ago, almost 30 years now, I gave my life to the Lord and when I did His Spirit became alive in me. But it has taken most of those years to fully understand the role the Holy Spirit can play in our lives, as believers, if we would just let Him. I know now that the Holy Spirit is a friend to me, a guide, a counselor, a wisdom giver, a directive, a help. I know now that when I feel the Spirit inside of me begin to whisper that it would do me much good to stop. And listen. And obey.

And so this morning as I drove from school to school dropping off kids and wishing for a Starbucks I stopped. And listened. And that is when I heard...

It was for the safety of one of my children. One of my children needed to be - MUST BE - prayed for right then and right there. Pray, Melissa. Pray for safety. Pray for Mercy. Pray that right wins over wrong. Pray that light beats darkness. Pray that enemies are defeated and justice wins. Pray that strangers are ineffective and friends are near. Pray that your children are surrounded by the cautious and the guarded. Pray!

And so, without question, I began to pray. And I prayed hard. I also delivered that child to their teacher, kissed them nice and soft and whispered in their ear my undying love for them and that I would see them later this afternoon. They told me they loved me back. And I went back out to my car to finish my work. This job of prayer. This job of motherhood.

And after I prayed for their health and their mind, their innocence and their safety, after I prayed for them to be on guard and wise as serpents, after I prayed against strangers and unseen dangers, after I prayed for their teachers and their friends and their ability to make wise decisions, after I did all that......I thanked the Spirit. For doing what it does best; coming alongside and helping us to pray in ways that we, ourselves, might never think about. I thanked the Spirit for being for my children what I could not be: eyes, ears, mouthpieces, guidance, wisdom.

And then I thought of Woody. And Buzz. And I thought about how my desire is not to be the tool in His hands, as much as it is to be the product from that tool. I thought about how the Lord uses the Spirit to mold me, make me, sometimes even break me, in order to build me, stand me up, help me see, help me smirk, help me listen, help me pray, help me fight. And though it must get tiresome at Pixar it never gets tiresome to the Lord to draw me - frame by frame, slouch by slouch into what He wants me to be. And I am thankful today for that.

I need Him. I need Him more every single day of my life. As do my children. And today, as I rest in knowing that my children have been covered in prayer and surrounded by angels I don't stop praying. Because I'm a mother and I'll never stop. But I also don't fear. For I have friend who has given to me a gift.

1 Corinthians 2:12 (New International Version)
What we have received is not the spirit of the world, but the Spirit who is from God, so that we may understand what God has freely given us.

And I accept it. To infinity! And beyond!