I'd Like My Drugs To Come With Flour Tortillas. Thank You.

Red Ribbon week is enough to make me want to snort something.

I don't know about you but this is how I see it: while the whole idea of Red Ribbon week is devised to keep our kids off drugs what it does instead is casually remind our kids that "Drugs Aren't Cool - Stay in School" (or my personal favorite, "Don't Do Drugs - Give a Hug") while momma's run in 400 different directions to facilitate their children in the "themed" days that Red Ribbon week calls for therefore causing families across America to spend money they don't have on camo vests they'll never wear again inflicting pain and financial ruin to a sweet momma who by Thursday openly admits, "If I weren't so broke from dressing her up every day I'd buy something from that kid on the corner that wears the toboggan in mid-July and just chilllllllllll out."

Good grief, I'm tired.

Let's put it this way. If my kid ever takes up drugs the first thing I'm going to do is beat her to a pulp, but the second thing I'm going to do is lay my hand out and demand she pay me back for one pair of Scooby-Doo pajamas, a camo vest, a pair of crazy socks that she gave to the little girl who sits beside her in the lunchroom, a tye-dyed t-shirt that she thought I had spilt something on and a 50's poodle skirt that will probably never again see the light of day.

Let's see how long she can afford the good stuff. Goodness knows I can't.

I wanted to go out to eat Mexican food tonight but the AG told me, "No."
"Why not? I've worked hard this week. Remember? Stupid ol' Red Ribbon week; our governments initiative to keep kids off drugs while simultaneously getting parents hooked on them."
"I know, but financially I don't think we should. Let's put it this way: she's wearing your fajitas."

What she was wearing was a poodle skirt. Which I feel fairly certain never kept a kid off of drugs but did keep me from ordering cheese dip.

And that is my drug of choice.