Stretch Marks

I wanted to write a really funny poem to tell my little man Happy Birthday, but I can't seem to find anything silly to write about him. Even though he is silly personified.

Instead I just want to say that some people have the mistaken belief that an adopted child is so longed for that the minute they come into your world you are just enraptured with them. Wrong! Now certainly they are longed for, but bringing an adopted child home is no different than bringing a birth child home - you still have to bond, you still have to connect and sometimes its more difficult than other times.

And so it was with Rocco.

At his little small ten week mark I found myself with bags under my eyes crying to my doctor, "I can't sleep. He won't sleep. He needs something all the time and I don't know what it is. I think I'm losing it." And I remember The AG taking me to lunch and sitting across the table from him and saying, "I'm not bonding with him. Its just not happening. What do I do?" And his tender words were: "Give it time. You're tired. He is too. It will happen. I know it will."

And my Lord did it ever.

Within days of saying those words the Lord began to place in me a peace that this child was as meant for me as I was for him. I was not in over my head. I was not losing my mind. And I was not as bad at this task as I thought I was.

And suddenly Rocco began to overtake me.

His lips began to fit perfectly on mine. His eyes began to follow me around the room as much as mine followed him. His laugh began to show up in my dreams. And his hugs began to be the thing that got me out of bed the quickest. I fell in love with him. And I fell deep.

And sometimes I look at him and pray for the wife that he will marry someday and that prayer sounds like this, "Dear Lord, wherever she is, whatever she's doing, trip her. Because she is not good enough for him."

And then I ask forgiveness and pray a real prayer. And I pray over his life and his tender spirit. And I thank God that after he saw fit to give me the whirlwind that is Rocco's sister, he saw fit to give me Rocco. Who is undoutedly one the most sensitive, sweetest, loveliest little boys you've ever met. Who just yesterday got a swat for throwing a temper fit and thanked me afterwards.

I am more thankful for Rocco than I ever thought I could be. He has changed my life.

And he has changed it for the better.

Happy Birthday, Roccstar!


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