Ten Reasons Why I Haven't Been Around.

1. Whenever I am away from the blog for a while you can chalk it up to two things: I am working on my writing for something else and it hurts my brain to do two things in one day...or...I have nothing to say.

2. Both would have been true in this instance.

3. But also, its summertime and there is so much sweating going on.

4. Also, I have these two kids...

5. Unlike TN where there is a Borders or Marshall's on every corner, here in the 75904 there is a sno-cone stand on every corner (cuz we're just really cool and fancy down here). I kid you not. It is heaven. And so I've been hanging out a lot at the Frigid Frog and Shiver Shack. Don't be hatin'.

6. It was Father's Day which meant I spent the entire week trying desperately to one-up him in the gift department. Which cannot, ever, be done. He bought me a Flip video camera for Mother's Day, I bought him a case of olives. Long story. Just suffice it to say that my Love Language is gifts - and his isn't. So I only pretend to feel really bad about it.

7. This past week was our family reunion. I have not been present for the family reunion in over five years. How do I know this? Because I was reminded of it every fifteen minutes leading up to said reunion. Therefore my list for the reunion? "Melissa, we need you to make your corn casserole." "Could you come up with a game or two?" "Melissa, make your baked beans." "Melissa, are you going to make the chocolate chip cookies or are we just going to have to go without this year?" "Melissa, why don't you also do a rendition of the Newlywed game? That would be fun!" "Melissa, can you help us set up on Friday?" "Melissa, make sure to be here early on Saturday." "Oh, and Melissa, dress the kids really cute. No one has ever seen them since you haven't been to a reunion in over five years."

8. Yesterday the heat index in the 75904 was 107 degrees. There is nothing - nothing - that should be written in that kind of heat. Nothing.

9. The Bachelorette has me so bumfuzzled that I can't decide whether to post on it or throw a rock at my T.V. Why do magazines and Internet sites like to ruin the thrill that is The Bachelorette?? Now I know some of the major things that are going to happen this season, and I'll honest, I never figured for a second there would be any drama or guys with lying tongues. I mean, who would've guessed? Thanks for blowing it, America. Or in the words of my cousin Bubba, "thanks a lot, Bin Laden."

10. We are now working on our third installment of the Ear Ache Saga of 2010. Looks like it might be the good ol' tubes in the ears for us. We'll see. I don't know what the problem is, I've been giving the kid a sno-cone every day so far and it doesn't seem to be helping him. Are sno-cones supposed to solve everything?? They always have with me.